Editing

The_Difference_Between_an_Idiot_and_a_Moron.md

@@ -287,7 +287,7 @@ He nodded.
 
 "For those fighting, I'm sure. I can't say I struggled especially."
 
-"Following that, you were stationed at the Cyber Defense Academy."
+"Following that, you were stationed at the Computer Science School."
 
 "Defense Forces Academy Of Computer Professions And Cyberspace
 Defense\", Adir recited out of habit. \"It's a mouthful."
@@ -696,57 +696,59 @@ heart. A decision was made, and he will stick to it.
 
 He got out.
 
-Chapter I
+Chapter I -- Security Service Candidate
 
 Private Adir Levin was just shy of 19 years of age when he was drafted.
 
-Unlike many, he had had the privilege of knowing his date well in
+Unlike most of his peers, he had had the privilege of knowing his date
-advance -- upwards of a year. It has been six months since he graduated
+well in advance -- upwards of a year, which was almost unheard of. It
-highschool without too much of a struggle, and began working at a big
+had been six months since he graduated highschool, shortly after which
-city coffee shop shortly afterwards, aiming to overcome his social
+he began working at a big city coffee shop aiming to overcome his social
 awkwardness.
 
 Though hesitant and neurotic at first, Adir quickly grasped the nuances
 of working in the rush -- operating the register, sending out the
-orders, and even making recommendations and casual chatting with the
+orders, and even making recommendations and casualy chatting with the
 customers coming in. He had been the youngest to ever work there, and
-rarely came across anyone near his age -- yet he seldom felt out of
+rarely came across anyone near his age, yet he seldom felt out of place.
-place. It was exhausting, physical work -- and Adir worked fairly often,
+It was exhausting, physical work and Adir worked fairly often, well
-well long after he felt his goal was achieved. But he was happy, and
+after he felt his goal was achieved.
-fulfilled.
 
-Two weeks before his draft date, though, even Adir put in the towel --
+Two weeks before his draft date, though, even Adir put in the towel and
-and went off to get a buzzcut and olive green T-shirts, like everyone
+went off to get a buzzcut and olive green T-shirts, like everyone else
-else told him he should. Adir was never a confrontational character, so
+told him he should. Adir was never a confrontational character, so he
-he did.
+did.
 
 He sought, above all, a moderate life. A life of purpose, achievement,
 sure -- but without tribulations, without drama. Certainly without
 conflict. Generally speaking, Adir simply did not like having much on
 his plate. Hand him exactly one to three things going on in his life --
-however big or difficult -- and he would cruise along gently. Anymore
+however big or difficult -- and he would cruise along gently being
-than that, however, he would get intensely uncomfortable, and his mind
+generally content. Any more than that, however, he would get intensely
-got the better of him.
+uncomfortable, hunker down, and his mind got the better of him.
 
 Though moderate and unassuming, Adir was not humble nor meek. He knew
 his ability and especially his unrelenting determination will get him
 wherever he should desire, so long as he should truly desire it enough.
-It was this blend of determination and non-confrontational, moderate
+If he succeeded, it was proof of his superior determination. Should he
-policy that somehow led him to be a Computing Systems Infrastructure
+have failed, it was simply an indication that he did not really seek to
-Management coursee, under the Communications Corps. Widely considered to
+achieve whatever it was he failed at. It was this blend of determination
-be one of the best occupations in the army (so he heard), CSIM
+and non-confrontational, moderate policy that somehow led him to be a
-candidates go through a grueling screening process, and those successful
+coursee in the Communication Corp's luxurious Computing Systems
-later undergo extensive training at the Defense Forces Academy of
+Infrastructure Management course. Widely considered to be one of the
-Computer Professions and Cyberspace defense, where Adir now found
+best occupations in the army (or so he heard at that communication corps
-himself.
+convention), CSIM candidates go through a grueling screening process,
+and those successful later undergo extensive training at the Defense
+Forces Academy of Computer Professions and Cyberspace Defense, where
+Adir now found himself.
 
 "What would you like to do in the military?" the Officer who is Not a
 Commander (why not? He remembers wondering) had asked him at early 16,
-when he was first summoned to the Recruitment Center.
+when he was summoned to the Recruitment Center for the very first time.
 
 "I don't really mind", he said.
 
-"You probably heard of something. Know someone. What caught your
+"You probably heard of *something*. Know *someone*. What caught your
 interest?"
 
 "I never really thought about it. I'm fine with whatever, really"
@@ -755,18 +757,32 @@ interest?"
 me the exact squad he wanted to serve in today! You've never heard of
 anything?"
 
+"What squad?"
+
+"Huh?"
+
+"What squad did he want to serve in?"
+
+"364^th^, paratroopers. Do you know it?"
+
+"No."
+
+"So what do you want to do?"
+
 Adir was lost in thought.
 
-"Listen, this isn't about your stats. Let's pretend this was a perfect
+"Listen, this isn't about your stats. Look, let's pretend this is a
-world -- you could pick absolutely whatever and you get stationed doing
+perfect world -- you can pick absolutely whatever and I station you
-it immediately. What do you pick?"
+there immediately. What do you pick?"
 
-"Well, I... why do I have to pick? The army picks whatever it needs.
+"Well, I... Um, why do I have to pick? The army picks whatever it needs.
 Doesn't it?"
 
-"It does, sure, but it's not just a machine. It's in the military's best
+The ONC audibly *tsk*ed.
-interest that you like your role as well -- makes you more productive.
+
-That's no promise, of course, but there is some attempt."
+"Yeah, It does, sure, but it's not just a machine. It's in the
+military's best interest that you like your role as well -- makes you
+more productive. So it tries. For a bit."
 
 "I really don't care for all that. I'll do whatever the country needs me
 to. I have no preference whatsoever."
@@ -834,17 +850,17 @@ hardware monkey."
 
 "A hardware monkey."
 
-"What on earth is a hardware monkey?"
+"What on god's green earth is a hardware monkey?"
 
 "Some people write the code for the computers, because they've got
-something that I really really don't. And others, who have something
+something that I really really don't. And others, those who have
-else, take care of the computers themselves. The code monkeys and the
+something else, take care of the computers themselves. The code monkeys
-hardware monkeys."
+and the hardware monkeys."
 
-"So you... *take care* of computers?"
+"So you... what, *take care* of computers?"
 
 "I assemble them, yeah. I built a good dozen by now. It's really
-interesting."
+interesting. I really like it."
 
 "What if the army asks you to build computers?"
 
@@ -856,8 +872,8 @@ preference?"
 "No, not at all".
 
 The CNO hunched over a flowery pink notebook. Using a bright pink pen
-with a big pink pom-pom on top, she scribbled in it with small, cursive
+with a big pink fuzzy whatever on top, she scribbled in it with small,
-handwriting.
+cursive handwriting.
 
 He could just make it out -
 
@@ -869,34 +885,40 @@ She then abruptly stood up and surveyed Adir quickly.
 
 And now he was here.
 
-The Academy was nothing like he had envisioned a military base to be --
+The Computer Science School was nothing like he had envisioned a
-not that he did much envisioning at all, but still. Spring Buds, where
+military base to be -- not that he had done much envisioning at all.
-he went through boot camp, had been *exactly* what he had envisioned --
+Spring Buds, where he went through boot camp, had been *exactly* like
-stuck in the middle of nowhere and chock full of big, ugly green tents
+what little he had envisioned -- it was stuck in the middle of nowhere,
-and ancient structures and guard posts and lots of dirty empty space and
+it was full of big, ugly green tents and ancient structures torn
-being generally repulsive. It was so alike everything he had seen in old
+straight out of the 1920's, and it had guard posts and lots of dirty
-movies that at times he started wondering whether that really took place
+empty space.
-or was it his vivid imagination.
+
+Above all it was generally repulsive.
+
+It was so alike everything he had seen in old movies that, at times,
+Adir started wondering whether his experiences there really took place
+or was it just his vivid imagination.
 
 This place, however, was a strange mix of that classic vision and a
-shmancy high-tech office space. Adir's classroom was in a structure that
+high-tech office space. Adir's classroom was in a structure that was
-was clearly meant to be temporary -- positioned in a big dusty patch of
+clearly meant to be temporary. It was positioned in a big dusty patch of
-bare earth in a strange angle -- yet their commander's offices, and the
+bare earth, thrown into it in a strange angle. Their commander's
-units stationed in the base, sat in a trio of rather small but quite
+offices, and the units stationed in the base, sat in a trio of rather
-modern buildings, surrounding a paved cobblestone courtyard. It was well
+small but quite modern buildings, surrounding a paved cobblestone
-kept and had lots of emblems and flags protruding from the upper floors,
+courtyard. It was very well kept and had lots of emblems and flags
-and had a million passages to and from it -- as if it was the beating
+protruding from the upper floors, with a million passages to and from it
-heart of the base, and the soldiers flowing into it it's lifeblood.
+-- as if it was the beating heart of the base, and the soldiers flowing
+into it it's lifeblood.
 
-However, the base was *ridiculously* small -- Adir could circle it
+The base was, however, *ridiculously* small -- Adir could circle it
 leisurely in just under eight minutes. Also unlike Spring Buds -- which
-was huge -- was the fact that they were right in the middle of the city,
+was huge -- was the fact that it lay right in the middle of the city,
 perhaps a 15 minute bus ride from his house. The base was elevated from
-the street, which was a good 2-3 meters lower, and was surrounded by a
+the street, which was a good 2-3 meters lower, surrounded by a tall
-tall barbed wire fence covered with thick opaque fabric to keep prying
+barbed wire fence covered with thick opaque fabric to keep prying eyes
-eyes away. It resembled, perhaps, an overly protective neighborhood
+away. It resembled, perhaps, an overly protective neighborhood school
-school much more than a full blown, top secret army base.
+much more than a full blown, top secret army base.
 
 Yet an army base it was, and Adir would not soon forget it. He and his
-peers waltzed in from the city, sure, but after coming in through the
+peers may have waltzed in from the city each morning, sure, but after
-old-school guard post, it was army alright.
+coming in through the old-school guard post, it was army alright.