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@@ -6,7 +6,7 @@ General Chapters
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To be Incorporated
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***Chapter ****\[****\]****-- Corporal Adir Levin***
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***Chapter** **\[\]-- Corporal Adir Levin***
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"Says here you're a, uhm, corporal?" said the NCO sitting across from
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Adir.
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@@ -58,8 +58,8 @@ Personnel file.
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"What??"
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"I left mine in Hutspace. Well over a year ago. Whatever it is *you're
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*holding I've never seen in my life."
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"I left mine in Hutspace. Well over a year ago. Whatever it is *you're*
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holding I've never seen in my life."
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The NCO sighed deeply.
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@@ -334,8 +334,6 @@ You've been given a great privilege. Act like it'. He left.
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The others were just pouring out, and as soon as Dan was out of sight
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many they flocked to Adir.
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* *
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'You're an idiot,' Yogev thoughtfully stated. Even Karin seemed to
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agree.
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@@ -967,3 +965,150 @@ do them the honors, bring Ram here to show them how much we appreciate
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them -- and grant their rank from the unit commander, personally. Ram?"
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\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~
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Ram spread his arms and looked about the room with ecstasy.
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"How great it is to gather with good news for a change!" he declared
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proudly, and a wave of clapping went through the room.
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"Ah, there's no need for much introduction, is there? We all know each
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other. We all work together. And we all watched these fine young men and
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women, standing here before us, grow empowered as they shape the next
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generation of the defense of our country. Those on the outside may be
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mistaken as to think these are quiet times, but if only I could tell you
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what goes on in the shadows! The threats nowadays are much more severe
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than most care to think. It is only via our..."
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At this point, the Horizon commander went into the omnipresent rant
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about the air force's crucial air superiority, the threats from the
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north, the technological advantage which the air force has gathered and
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the increasing reliance on it, all delivered with a confident,
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deliberate speech.
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Adir, who had heard this speech dozens of times since joining the air
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force (do they gather monthly and rehearse these things? They\'re so
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alike!), naturally drifted away skillfully. He was a person of
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incredible mental will, a trait which manifested itself very helpfully
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in these situations -- once he decided he does not want to hear, then he
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will not commit so much as a syllable further into memory, and looking
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into his rigid stance and attentive eyes you would never see it.
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Now, however, he was exhausted -- and in his fatigued mentality,
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something managed to slip through the cracks.
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Ram approached each of his coursemates in order. As if through a haze,
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he could see each receiving their rank. Daniel, ever the happy-go-lucky,
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saluted each of the commanders proudly and stood facing the crowd as
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they sewn in his rank, one sleeve each. Each gave him a loud pat on the
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back, and he thanked them with his clear, ringing voice.
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Dennis stood casually, but with a smug air, and received his after
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respectfully shaking the commander's hands rather than going for the
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pat. Karin thanked them each in her quiet, shy voice, with eyes downcast
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as her rank was sown. Roni, ever the energy blast, often blurted out
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amazed excerpts - 'I can't believe this is finally happening!', 'Thanks
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so much for this! That's awesome'. Arrogant as ever, Tom gave each
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commanders a strong handshake after a small, satisfied chuckle, and then
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of course prompted them to give him a 'worthwhile' pat on the back.
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Omer, always in neutral, merely went with a 'yeah, cool', and shook
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hands as if with buddies from highschool. Dana screeched with excitement
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and giggled with glee, never managing to gather her feelings into a
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coherent word, let alone a sentence. Reasonable Chen addressed the two
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commanders as of dealing with two respected colleagues, Thanking them
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humbly with an official, reserved greeting and a friendly air.
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Each of them were praised as they received their rank -- how they had
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solved this and that malfunction, how funny it was when this and that
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happened to them, how much so and so trait help the team and make
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everyone happy. Adir had not been there for nearly all of the events
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described, recent arrival as he was, and could not relate -- yet even
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through the haze, the words hurt him. He felt envious of the standing
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his coursemates made for themselves -- knowing full well from their own
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words they were unhappy. It was a facade, he know, but he could not help
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but feel strong misgivings, pangs of regret and solitude -- perhaps if
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he had powered through at Hutspace, he could attain that ever-off
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acclimation he so desired, and be left alone in peace.
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But why should I wait to be left alone in peace, if I can force the
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others to acknowledge I am alone, in peace? He thought, and with that
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took a deep breath, feeling himself washed away, and shut himself down
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from the rest of the room through sheer determination. It always works.
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This time, however, it backfired magnificently.
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When he next opened his eyes, every single person in the room was
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staring at him -- some with unveiled curiosity, some with open contempt,
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others with confusion and some even with a shred of pity. He had no idea
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what was going on, and was suddenly growing aware of his sorry state. He
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felt his eyelids droop, the heavy black circles around the eyes
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throbbing, the wrinkles around his eyes and forehead dry and stiff, the
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skin greasy.
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Amit was suddenly at his side.
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"Come up, Adir. Why did you even stand out here? Come on!"
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Adir furrowed his brow, and stared Amit down for an answer.
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"You're getting your rank, Adir! It's your turn. Come up! Everyone's
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waiting"
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Then it suddenly registered.
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They're granting **me** a rank? He wondered, stunned.
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They're granting **ME** a rank!? He thought, indignant. What a fucking
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charade!
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Amit motioned John to come over, and he promptly surged through the
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crowd parting for him until he was at Adir's side as well. He grasped
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his arm, trying to lead him up, eyes towards Ram. Amit put a hand
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between his shoulder blades. "Go on, it's okay. Go and receive your rank
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like the rest of your friends."
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What happened next was profoundly idiotic, on Adir's part, and he was
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well aware of it beforehand. Adir realized very early on he could not
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fight every affront thrown his way by the military -- hell, he could not
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consider even 5% of them. He had to pick his battles, so he may have the
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strength to stand his ground where it mattered. These stupid affronts,
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he would have to take. He would have to stand there like an idiot, no
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one knowing him, no one saying one positive thing about him, and receive
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these two stupid stripes that declared him as slightly less a piece of
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shit than everyone else.
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"No," he said. His voice rang surprisingly loud in the silence.
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John turned to stare at him, alarmed.
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"Are you missing your markings?" Amit asked. "It's okay -- I had some
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brought for you. Here -" he handed Adir a set of two Corporal markings.
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"You'll need to bring the other sets afterwards from HQ. Now -"
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"I'm not going", he said again, and was surprised to hear how feeble his
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voice sounded. He was shaking, he realized suddenly -- with fear, anger,
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stress or sadness he could not even tell.
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In the Pit, things stay very constant. The lights are always on, and the
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temperature is always fifteen degrees Celsius. There's always the hum of
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servers and fans in the background, and every ten minutes or so a short
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alarm or announcement is sound. Under such static conditions, Adir's
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emotions stabilized as well -- growing more timid with each passing day
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until, finally, dying out completely. He had felt nearly nothing for
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well other two months now; nothing upset him greatly. Nothing brought
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him joy. Nothing went beyond irritating him, and being tired was just
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another state of being.
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But now, now he was flooded. He was quivering with anger, tearful with
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sadness, breath heaving with stress and panic coursing through every
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vein in his body. He was proud, he was assertive, and he was deeply
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hurt.
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He could see Ram, from the corner of his eye, considering the situation
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awkwardly. The man who'd just been so eloquent and precise now seemed at
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a loss for words.
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John stared him down severely. Adir thought he could see a brief flash
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of sympathy in his eyes, which was quickly gone.
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'We'll talk about this later', he said quietly, and motioned Ram to
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continue.
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