9.1 KiB
The Difference Between an Idiot and a Moron
Adir sat alone in the waiting room. He could feel the receptionist's eyes on him, and huddled nervously on simple plastic chair.
He was in a small, light-beige colored room, the color almost identical to his uniform, blending him in, swallowing him. Traces of strong noon daylight came through the milky glass panels around the door.
A plain, small plaque read 'Dedicated Personel Officer'.
The room was lit with harsh white halogen bulbs - Adir could scarcely raise his head without instinctively reaching for his temples. Some effort appears to have been made at hospitality -- some pictures, some thank you notes, a few ancient magazines, a few stray old pillows -- but he felt it was a weak, false facade.
Adir had forgotten how uncomfortable the uniform is. The heavy black boots, the rough unbreathing fabric, the shirt tucked into the pants, the vile warm beret on his shoulder. It was the smallest touch he hated the most -- the cold metal dogtag touching his heart. He always wore it over his shirt against regulations, dreading the cold metal -- but he could feel it seeping through the worn fabric.
Though he had his phone, Adir could not bring himself to use it -- it still felt unnatural to him, used as he was to spending his days away from it. From the endless sea of information, entertainment and comforts of the Internet, he could think of nothing to do, and so sat there staring at his heavy black boots, adjusting his shirt, his socks or his cuffs.
The door suddenly opened and a pretty, middle aged woman stepped out decisively.
Upon seeing him, she drew her notepad and searched it intently.
'Hello! Welcome! Good to have you here!' she said sweetly. Too sweetly, Adir thought.
Help has finally come, he thought. I shouldn't be so bitter.
'Adir', he croaked in response, surprised at how feeble his voice was.
'I see. There must be some mistake -- I was expecting a young man named Tom. Rachel, when is Tom's appointment due?'
'10:30', the receptionist shot back without drawing breath.
'Well, I shan't wait any further then. Adir, you're scheduled for... 11:45, was it?"
"12:00"
"Really? How odd. Rachel?"
"12:00"
"Well then, there's no need for you to be here so soon. You can go back to the office in the meantime"
Adir stared at his feet, never meeting the officer's gaze. He made no move to rise.
"...Though I suppose I could push your appointment early", the officer said, mild irritation slipping into her voice. "How about you wait here a while, and I'll see you inside soon?"
He nodded.
"Alright," she said, closing the door behind her, and Adir was left alone with the receptionist again.
The door swung open again, yanking Adir from his train of thought. He had not the faintest idea to how much time has passed, or what was he just thinking about.
"Adir?", the officer offered sweetly. "Come on inside".
The Dedicated Personel Officer's room was not large, but it felt spacious thanks to the grand floor-to-ceiling window overlooking the entryway outside -- Adir could just see the soldiers streaming in and out of the building. The only furnishings were a simple, standard issue wooden desk and three more simple plastic chairs against the wall, facing ninety degrees from the desk. A few simple photos were on the walls, as well as a small picture frame on the desk -- yet he could not make out anything in them.
The officer made her way behind the desk, her back to the window, with well adjusted movements.
"You can sit down, Adir. It's the same price", she said softly. He had not realized he was still standing, and so, flustered, he sat down huched on the middle chair. The officer watched him with observant eyes but made no remark.
"Adir, I am Tamara -- I've been a psychologist here for just over fifteen years now. I am the head of the personnel department, and I do not usually treat soldiers as they come in, aside from more severe cases. However, I understand you've been waiting for some time -- a month or so, was it?"
"Since December", Adir answered weakly.
"No, no, that cannot be. How long have you been waiting, Adir?"
"Since December", Adir said again, finally finding some fortitude in his voice. "I've asked for an appointment in early November. It was scheduled for December".
"Adir, you're already here", Tamara said in a comforting voice. "I understand how you feel, truly, but there's no need to make an impression".
Adir said nothing.
"You don't expect me to believe it's been five months?"
Adir drew in a breath, and maintained his silence.
"Well never mind about that -- I can look into it later. Tell me about yourself, Adir."
"Not much to tell."
This time, Tamara maintened her silence.
"I was drafted in December, last year. One month of boot camp. Four months of training. Five months in 108. And here since".
"So it says in your file, Adir. Let's go over it, just in case. You are... 20?"
"Yes."
"Born late December, '97"
"Had birthday in boot camp", he chuckled.
"Have Both parents?"
"Thankfully yes"
"Do you have any siblings?"
"A younger sister, and a younger brother"
"Fill in their details here, please". She handed him a form and a pen on her notepad. Adir painstakingly filled them -- it took a surprisingly long time.
"Any of them in service?" she asked as he was slaving away.
"No."
"Isn't your sister of age?"
"She is. Wasn't cut out for it. She's in National service". He handed back the form.
"Doing what?"
"Teaching at-risk youth."
Tamara smiled widely. "That's lovely!"
"I'm proud of her".
"And your brother?"
"He's fine"
"Does he know what he's going to do in the army?"
"He's thirteen."
"I see." Tamara paused momentarily. "What do your parents do, Adir?"
"Dad's a physicist. Mom's a lawyer"
"Where does he work?"
"Ministry of defence"
"Sounds interesting! What does he do?"
"No idea. He can't say."
"Must be odd."
"He's a bit of a drama queen. Always complains about his rough day. But I can never tell if he's bluffing."
"Surely your mother knows"
"They met at the job, so she knows what's going on. It's really annoying".
"She's a lawyer?"
"Yes."
"Of what field?"
"Workspace law. I was the most well treated waiter on Earth."
"I see. Everything good at home? Violence between the parents?"
"None."
"Financial status?"
"We're doing OK. Pretty good."
"Wealthy?"
"No, no. Upper middle class, maybe".
"And you? Big spender?"
"Absolutely not. Saving every penny."
"What for?"
Adir hesitated. "I'll see."
"Let's go over your service thus far. What is your role called, again?"
"I am a Computing Systems Infastructure Manager".
"Sound big. What do you do?"
"We're in charge of maintaining the military's operational datacenters and classified computing systems. Spread across all corps."
"Must be interesting".
Adir said nothing, and Tamara surveyed him cautiously.
"You went to boot camp at... Spring Buds rookie base?"
"Yes."
"December boot camp in the south. Hard introduction."
"We heard jets and mortars at night."
"Must be hard."
"It was interesting. Didn't struggle especially."
"Afterwards, you were stationed at the Cyber Defence Academy."
"Defense Forces Academy Of Computer Professions And Cyberspace Defense. It's a mouthful."
"What did you study?"
"It's a very wide field. There's been a touch of everything. Some Operating systems. Some databases. A bit of computer hardware. Some programming."
"And how did you do?"
"I was the underdog. But I pulled through nicely."
"What's drawn you into computers?"
"Nothing at all". Tamara looked at him questioningly.
"It's a cold, dead field."
"It sounds like you've gone through some hardcore training. Why?"
"That's what they offered."
"It's a voluntary course."
"Had no other choice lined up."
"What about your education, Adir? Finished highschool?"
"Yes."
"University? I see you were accepted into post-uni service."
"It didn't run that year."
"And you didn't go on your own?"
Adir straightened his slouch and looked at Tamara.
"No," he said.
Tamara caught his gaze and held it intently. This was the first time he had seen her eyes.
"What did you study in highschool?"
"Biology and Biotechnology."
"Quite a long way off from the cold, dead field of computers".
"It's a noble science. Fascinating, too."
"You must feel displaced."
"I wasn't expecting it as an army job."
"It's funny. Many young men base their studies on their aspired military role. Some earn their training in service."
"Not me."
"Why not?"
"It's a different chapter of my life."
"How so?"
"I didn't choose."
"Many young soldiers are dissatisfied in service. But if everyone had a choice, the army could not stay afloat," she questioned him pointedly, "Would it?"
"I don't care for that discussion. I was asked to serve, so I did."
"How do you feel about it?"
"There's no way to feel about it. It's a fact of life. So I just don't bother."
"That's an interesting response, Adir. Most young men I meet here rage against that 'fact', as you put it. They feel powerless since they refuse to accept it, and struggle against it until they are released, and some even well afterwards."
"Can imagine. Not very useful, though."
"So what's hurting you, Adir? You know where you stand."