72 KiB
The Difference Between an Idiot
and a Moron
General Chapters
To be Incorporated
Chapter []-- Corporal Adir Levin**
"Says here you're a, uhm, corporal?" said the NCO sitting across from Adir.
"Yeah, I-" Adir began answering before being rudely interrupted by a takeoff. They were sitting in the Technical Division part of Air Base 10, in the far north of the country. The building was absolutely disgusting, and unfortunately situated a spitting distance from the massive runway.
Both sat there stupidly waiting for the plane to take off. Adir assumed it was big because it took much longer than usual. The NCO motioned him to continue with the booming sound of the engine still hung back, but Adir waited a bit longer. At last, the last wisps of the jet faded out.
"Yeah, I've long lost track of whatever's written there. I have no idea what it says -- only that it's wildly inaccurate at this point."
"That doesn't sound right to me. We air force guys, we keep track of things, don't we? Now, it says here you're from the headquarters."
"I haven't been in months."
The NCO cast a doubtful look at first, but seeing how Adir did not flinch he continued.
"Before that, you were in, uh... Hm. Air base 30. You've gone around, haven't you?"
"I've been there a grand total of six hours. Never stationed there."
"Look, it says right here in your file..."
"It also says I'm a first sergeant at that station, doesn't it?"
The NCO chuckled. "Now, don't be -- What? How did you know?"
"I told you so."
"You've been serving just under 18 months at that point. That doesn't make any sense. No promotion could get you in this early."
Adir eyed him smugly.
"Where did you get this?" the NCO demanded, waving Adir's Ground Personnel file.
"Where did you get this?"
"What??"
"I left mine in Hutspace. Well over a year ago. Whatever it is *you're *holding I've never seen in my life."
The NCO sighed deeply.
"This is some mess of paperwork for your commanders. Never mind. I'll send you back with the documents and your commanders can sort it out. HQ loves this stuff."
Adir began to protest but was cut short. "But wait, you're not HQ now, you said?"
"Nope. 15^th^ wing."
"Fine. You'll give them the papers."
The room fell silent.
"Anyways, you're here for a Computer Network Manager course -- but I was told you came over from a computer profession already, something from the greens. Is that right?"
"Yes. I'm a Computer Systems Infrastructure Manager."
"Never heard of it."
"It's from Communication Corps"
"That explains it. Is that it's brooch pin?", he asked, pointing to the insignia on Adir's left breast pocket.
"Yeah."
"What's going on there? What is it?"
"It's a computer in the middle. Around it is the radioactive sign, for some reason. All Computer Academy courses have it for some reason. And it's split in three for the three arms of the army we get assigned in -- the green part for ground forces, the blue for navy and white for air force. And there's a square root, for some reason."
"It's too busy."
"It is."
"So basically, you have to go through the whole course again. It's two months in here, Air base 10, and you'd be assigned alongside the privates. However, seeing as you're already familiar, we decided to offer you the same test they get at the end of the course -- if you know your stuff, it could save us all the trouble. How does that sound?"
"Sounds great. I wouldn't have come up here otherwise."
"Up to the building?"
"No, up north."
"You're a handful, aren't you?" the NCO remarked fondly. "But that's someone else's problem. Look, I've asked Idan -- my most senior course instructor, to swing by and ask you a few questions. If you're reasonably familiar, you can take the test. He should be here any moment."
"Sure."
"Would you like anything to drink in the meantime? Cold water? It's a hot day"
"No, thank you kindly. I'm all good."
"There's some disgusting coffee too, if that's your thing"
"Not many other options in the military, are there? But thank you, I'm all fixed. Nice of you to offer."
"Of course. It's common courtesy. Ah, that must be Idan! Come in!"
~~~
Chapter II -- The New Cyber Kids
'So, I'm standing there like an utter idiot, and all of a sudden the syringe flies across the room and into my shoulder!' Adir was telling several of his new coursemates, all huddled excitedly.
'Into your* shoulder?*' Karin asked with silent awe. She always spoke silently.
'Still have a nasty mark,' he answered, 'Look'. He lowered the thick green uniform to reveal a blackened old bruise. 'This is where it went in', he gestured just below the neck.
'And I though I had it bad', said Dennis. 'I still think I had it bad. Bastards wouldn't let me out for a smoke. We sat there for hours'.
'Well, you got in front of me in line. You have the bigger Personal Number.'
'That's Time Length!' Sharon excitedly pitched in. 'Nothing's more important!'
Adir found the whole concept of 'Time Length'* incredibly* stupid.
'Alright, line up', Shani said from the now open classroom door, just enough for them to hear. Adir has yet to decide his stance on the whole constant shouting business, now that's it's over with.
They lined up in front of the classroom, all forty two of them.
'One minute to attention', Shani said coldly. 'Look nice for the Course Commander'.
'ONE MINUTE TO ATTENTION!' bellowed Roi. Well, maybe not entirely over with.
After much more than a minute, the CC showed up.
'Alright, alright', he chuckled. 'Come on, get inside'.
It was 11AM and Adir was fiercely struggling to stay awake. The CC was vigorously instructing them on Operating System Internals, and Adir realized that for the first time in all these months he is in real jeopardy of dozing off. He stood up -- joining most of his coursemates at this point.
Much to his surprise, Re'em nudged his shoulder. He had fallen asleep.
Adir suddenly felt a wave of despair. What else is he supposed to do?
'Could I go?' he suddenly blurted out to the CC.
The CC stopped mid-sentence, and everyone turned their fragile attention to him. The officer was so surprised he did not even seem about to scold him.
'Go?' he asked, frowning.
'Yea'.
Silence fell, and eventually Adir realized the CC was expecting him to say something else.
'Pee, I mean'.
Yotam, the course commander, did not expect this from Adir, who had never piped up before.
'Be a bit more, er, professional next time, please', he said, and gestured at the door. Adir fuddled out with elation.
'The key,' Yotam added.
'Here man', mumbled Bar and tossed the keys at him. They hit him right in the face and fell to his hands.
The heavy metal door closed behind him. He stood at the small, empty space outside, overlooking the muddy nothing with the few benches in between. The other coursees in the other classrooms were all still studying.
He took a deep, exhausted breath. He felt the warm sun on his uniform. He stretched lazily, joints cracking softly, feeling some strength returning.
He began rounding the small classroom towards the restrooms, very slowly, humming to himself.
He inserted the key in the door -- to his surprise, it was unlocked.
A tall, red headed coursee opened the door. Behind him was another squat, dark haired soldier.
'What?' he demanded.
Adir saw his stripithings. Black and white. These must be the new Cyber coursees.
Socially handicapped as he was, even Adir had managed to pick up on the long lasting rivalry between the Computer Systems Infastructure Managers and the Cyber Security Defense Specialists. He could not understand why -- they do pretty much the same thing -- though he dared not utter this aloud. This was a fact of this place, inherited one course cycle at a time, and like everything else in his life right now he accepted it offhandedly.
He would not buy into this foolish affair, though.
He would treat this person with utmost respect.
'Pee', he answered diplomatically.
The Cyberer sighed.
'Don't make a mess', he reprimanded. 'We clean this up later'.
'Everyone cleans this up later', he said. The Cyberer looked at him as one might a deranged, fuming chimpanzee.
He 'ugh'd and left.
By the time he got back around the classroom, everyone was outside. How long has it been?
Naturally, he went to his desk for his three minutes of intense sleep.
When he sat down in front of the computer, however, he did something else -- and was not quite sure why.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
'I don't understand why you would act like this', Commander Dan told him. 'You've been a good soldier so far. Where is this coming from?'
Adir was vaguely aware of the situation. They were sitting around one of the tables outside, after Dan pulled him out from class. He suddenly felt cold.
Adir did not answer, because he genuinely did not know what this is about. Why can't he hold on to thoughts lately?
Dan did that thing where he sits and stares until Adir blurts something out to break the silence. Every single soldier ever trained for command used this tactic liberally, certain all the enlisted would break under their steely gaze.
It never worked on Adir, and he quite liked seeing confusion creeping up their faces.
Dan was a bit proud for that, though. 'You skipped out on the CC's lesson,' he continued, 'And now you write this nonsense on the course forum. You're one of the better soldiers here. Why? Why would you spoil it by acting out like that?'
Adir's poem burst out from the great nothing, and he was supremely proud of it. It read thus:
The New Cyberers / Pooshellu
The Man Bar hands me the key,
Methinks to meself, make water I shall
And just when the hand reaches out for the trousers
Into the room enter the new Cyberees.
The first's eyes fall to my stripthings
Purple is great, yet he did not see it thus
His nose rising just shy of his brows
'What, do you have a bathroom key too?' he asks
The restrooms are for all coursees, says I
Yet Cybereeno remains unimpressed
Do me a favor, he begs with a look of plea
Don't thrash the bathroom
Wer'e cleaning it later.
'I thought it was funny', he stated.
'And you came here to laugh?', Dan inquired.
He stared Adir down again. Adir mulled the question over.
'I know things are difficult', Dan finally gave out, 'But get a grip. You've been given a great privilege. Act like it'. He left.
The others were just pouring out, and as soon as Dan was out of sight many they flocked to Adir.
'You're an idiot,' Yogev thoughtfully stated. Even Karin seemed to agree.
'What else is there to be?'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter II -- The Feline, Or The Language?
Commander Kim gracefully turned away from the blackboard. He surveyed the class calmly with a proud smirk, and was content to see no confused faces.
'And that is it,' he said. 'That was a good introduction to case statements. Does anyone have any further questions?'
'No', the others piped smugly, which Adir found kind of annoying.
He raised his hand. Commander Kim looked at him, offended and bewildered. 'Yes?'
'Permission to speak, commander'.
'Adir,' he said, 'You don't need to ask for permission to speak anymore. This is not boot camp'.
'I understand, commander'.
'And you don't have to call me commander', he added benevolently. 'This is not boot camp'.
'I understand, Kim'.
'Adir,' he admonished, 'You can't just call me by my name. I'm not your mate from boot camp'.
'I understand, commander'.
'And you don't have to call me commander', he said sternly. 'This is not boot camp'.
Adir simply stared at him, relinquishing control of the situation. Kim stared back with futile anticipation of a response.
'You had a question,' he prompted after a billion years.
'Yes...'
'...'
'...'
'Commander Kim,' said Commander Kim.
'Commander Kim,' said Adir.
'I have a question about case statements, Commander Kim'
'Yes, Adir -- you had a question about case statements'
'Yes'
'Well?'
The guy did not even twitch. It's almost midnight, for god's sake. What do they do to these people? What happens in INBA city?
'I don't understand'.
'...You don't understand?' asked Commander Kim
'I don't understand', said Adir.
'You don't understand case statements?' Commander Kim cleverly deducted.
'Commander Kim, I think Adir does not understand case statements', Re'em, Adir's desk mate, helpfully pitched in.
'Commander, I don't think I understand case statements', Adir admitted.
'What,' inquired Commander Kim, 'About case statements don't you understand?'
'The case statements, commander', Adir stated. 'I lost you a good 50 minutes ago'.
'We've only been on case statements for the last 30 minutes'
'Yes.'
'Well, then, why didn't you say anything earlier?'
'Commander Kim, Adir did say something earlier', Re'em pitched in.
'I did say something earlier, Commander Kim', confirmed Adir.
'I'm sorry,' said Commander Kim, who was not at all sorry. 'I can't quite recall. Could you repeat your question?'
'When we just started,' he said, 'You explained what case statements were, and I said I did not understand'.
'I told you to see me after class if you don't understand', Commander Kim recalled.
'Yes.'
'I answered your question, then'
'I suppose you did at that'
'But you did not come to me after class'
'Class has yet to end. Commander.'
'Commander Kim.'
'Commander Kim.'
'Okay,' said Kim, who was clearly going for something else. 'What else don't you understand?'
'The whole thing -- you were talking about case statements'
'And?'
'I do not understand case statements'
'Come see me after class', Commander Kim commanded.
'Does anyone have any further questions?'
'No', everyone else piped smugly
'Good. Class is over. Adir, will you come see me, please?'
Adir came to see him. Everyone else left besides Re'em, who was never tired because he eats so many coffee beans. Re'em left when Commander Kim demanded that he leave.
'Do I really have to leave, Commander Kim?' he insisted. 'I kinda wanna see this'.
'You can go back to the hostel with the other soldiers,' Commander Kim said.
'Yes, but -'
'Don't you ever yesbut me. I'm not your mate from boot camp'. Re'em sulkily crunched a coffee bean.
'Now go'.
With that, they were two.
'Adir,' Commander Kim said with everlasting patience, 'What don't you understand about case statements?'
'Well-'
'If you don't understand case statements,' demanded Commander Kim, 'Why don't you stay after class to study it?'
'Because it is 11P.M. Commander'
'Stop calling me commander'
'I'm sorry, commander'
'Why don't you stay after class?'
'We start at 7AM'
'That you do'
'You must see some fault here'
'I do,' he said poignantly. ' I do see a fault here. You're giving up on yourself'.
Adir thought that was a rather exaggerated statement. 'I think that is a rather exaggerated statement', he said.
'When I was a coursee here,' Kim lectured him, 'I did not understand case statements. So I stayed late every day, until I understood case statements. Do you understand?'
'You had also studied programming throughout highschool with excellence', Adir said. He knew this because Commander Kim often told them he had studied programming throughout highschool, with excellence.
'The course requires no prior programming knowledge', Kim reiterated yet again.
'And yet, Everyone here has extensive prior programming knowledge'
'Pele does not, either'
'It doesn't matter, because Pele is getting released in a month'
'How did you come to that conclusion?'
'It's true,' Adir insisted, 'he told me.'
They sat at their tent together, in the Spring Buds Rookie Base Har'el Division Tent Area B. It was cold and damp and there was fuel on the floor as always.
'You mark my words, Adir', said Pele, who says very little. This sudden outburst alarmed Adir. 'If I am still in the military in three months', he proudly intoned, 'then I am a god damned whoreson'.
'Don't be silly', Adir had told him. 'We just got in'
'I'm not going through with this. It's just not for me.
You mark my words, Adir. Should I still be drafted three months from now, I am a stupid, spineless whoreson.' Adir did mark his words, and could not help but admire his perseverance. There's a man who knows what he's after.
'What are you on about?' asked Kim.
'Look,' he said. 'I could obviously sit here and grind water for many sleepless nights until I understand case statements'
'Good,' Kim said, 'We've reached a solution.'
'However', Adir put in, 'We study for 15 hours everyday'
'And?'
'And I am a smooth brain. My brain is smooth.'
'You're getting off track here.'
'I cannot study any more than 15 hours.'
'See? You're giving up on yourself."
'I do just dandy at everything else, and I need to work very hard to do so, because I'm not supposed to be here. I have only so many hours, and I choose to use them to surmount the challenges I can'
'You can do whatever you want if you study hard enough.'
'I have limited time and energy and I choose to spend them thus. If you'd like to help, Commander, I'd be grateful. But I just don't have the patience to grind through this alone'
'Ask your coursemates.'
'Hey, can you help me with variable type declaration?' Adir had asked Tom, who was the best programmer in the course.
'Sure Adir,' said Tom, 'I'm the best programmer in the course. What don't you understand about variable declarations?'
'The variable declarations', said Adir.
Tom had gathered the course's finest with a solemn mission -- to teach Adir variable declarations. They sat with Adir for about four late nights before declaring him unteachable.
'We're sorry, Adir', they had told him, 'But maybe you should ask Commander Kim'.
'Do you guys wanna get ice cream or something?'
'It's midnight', said Nitzan.
'Oh, right,' Adir replied.
'What are you on about?' said Kim, finally losing his patience. 'You know what? When you put in some real effort, I may consider helping you. I'll see you tomorrow' he said and left.
Adir left the cold, dead classroom and sat outside, even though he could go home. He wished he had some coffee beans. Programming, the feline cat, jumped to his lap. They were best buds, even though he was allergic to feline cats. And they say he can't pull through.
The next day, Commander Idan spoke to him just before lunch, robbing his precious free minutes. Adir mentally bade his sweet, sweet desk goodbye, and silently mourned the three minutes he had lost.
They sat outside just within sight and out of earshot of everyone else. Commander Idan, while a skilled adversary at military mind chess, still fell short of Adir, who has learned to anticipate his moves quite easily. First, the admonishment.
'Adir, why were you late this morning?'
'Life finds a way, Commander'.
'Do you think,' he said, 'When you're on duty, life will find a way?'
'That is very much a possibility, I'm afraid'.
Then, there is the steely gaze.
Commander Idan gazed at him, steely. Adir did nothing in response because he was so tired.
Then, the merciful change of subject.
'Commander Kim told me you've been struggling with case statements', he said.
'I have been, commander'
'Yet you do not stay late and ask for help from your coursemates'
'I do not, commander'
'Why are you giving up on yourself?' Idan demanded fiercely.
'I think that is a rather exaggerated statement.'
'Look, you've got it in you.' Idan said, inspired. 'Otherwise you would not have been here'
'I am not supposed to be here', Adir stated.
'How are you so certain?'
'Because I am a smooth brain. My brain is smooth."
'Why do you think you are a smooth brain? How do you know your brain is smooth?'
'I turned half my test in empty'
'If you are here', Idan intoned poignantly, 'You should be here. Look, you got it in you. Wouldn't you like to be a Computer Systems Infrastructure Manager?'
'That would be nice', he said
'Don't you feel it burning in your soul?'
'I think that is a rather exaggerated statement.'
'Look, you've got it in you, Adir. What happens if you fail Programming?'
'The feline, or the language?'
'What are you on about?'
'The feline, or the language?'
'What if you fail the feline, Programming?' Idan asked, dumbstruck.
'I would be greatly upset. We have a special bond'
'So why do you struggle with case statements?'
'What does that have anything to do with the cat?'
'What cat?'
'So the language'
'The programming language, yes'
'Oh. Not the feline cat'
'Don't joke around with me,' said Commander Idan. 'I'm not your mate from boot camp. You know, you shouldn't even touch it'.
'The language?'
'No, the feline cat. It's prohibited by martial law'
'Because I think I shouldn't touch the language either'.
There was silence.
'The language should also be prohibited by martial law'.
'...'
'I'm also severely allergic'
Idan tried the steely gaze again. It was ineffective.
'If I touch my face now,' Adir mused, petting Programming, 'It will be so, so bad'.
'If you fail Programming -- the language, you will fail the course. What will you do if you fail the course?'
'Whatever the country needs me to!' Adir declared patriotically.
'Wouldn't you like to be a Computer Systems Infrastructure Manager?'
'That would be nice'
'Don't you feel it burning in your soul?'
Adir was not listening, because he was so tired, and Programming's fur was sooooo soft.
'Don't give up on your self,' Commander Idan preached, 'It says a lot about character'.
That got to him. 'I honestly don't understand,' he said, 'Why is it considered so awful when I set my own priorities. I'm good at a few of the other fields. An hour spent there will help me much, much more that an hour of futile programming. I could grind away coding, sure -- but I'd like to be good at a few things I already have a grip on, rather than a mediocre programmer. Is that so bad?'
'Don't make excuses. We're good at everything'.
'It doesn't work like that'
'Life finds a way. Don't give up on yourself,' he said. 'Now go eat lunch. I don't want to be having this conversation again'.
Yogev walked up to him. 'I think you're absolutely amazing with Programming,' he said in his usual cold, cynicism soaked drone.
'The language?'
'Don't be an idiot', Yogev said. 'The feline cat, of course. Things that matter'.
Commander Shilo swung by from somewhere. 'Go! Run!' he told them. 'There's PE! The Communications commander is here!'
'Yes Commander!' Yogev spat back and took off with a frenzy.
'You too, Adir! Get up! Why are you giving up on yourself?'
Adir was so, so tired, and Programming was purring softly, which Adir loved because he'd never had a cat before, much less a feline cat.
'I'm not running', he tossed back, annoyed.
Chapter III -- The Grand Computing Conference Room
'I'm not running!' Adir spat back outraged.
Around them lay pandemonium, with officers, technicians, and the other soldiers from Adir's department scattering randomly in every direction.
'What do you mean you're not running!?' roared Henesee, loud enough to slow the scattering around them, if momentarily. 'I am your *Department Commander!, *and as your *Department Commander! I demand that *-'
'*How are we still having this conversation??' *Adir shouted back at the top of his lungs. *'I could have gotten there **TEN TIMES *by now!'
'IF I TELL YOU TO GO THAT WAY, THEN -'
'I WENT TO PICK UP THE TOOLS!'
'YOU DIDN'T SIGN OFF THE TOOLS?!' Henesse screeched at him, outraged. Adir thought him moments from fuming with spittle.
He took a deep breath.
'I have finished our little talk, commander, please and thank you', he said.
*'*Well I have been running like crazy here all morning, while you -'
'And that is your business, commander, and I wish you best of luck with it.'
'Maybe I will be busy preparing your trial, so you'
'Getting tools. Buh-bye now', Adir announced, already pacing back.
Gilad waited around the corner. 'You're an idiot, you know?', he said
'I am aware, yes'.
'You drove them crazy this morning'
'That's not very hard to do'
'They've been searching for you like crazy people. Couldn't find you at the Trainer'
'I was behind the Igloo'
'Of course', he said. 'Looking at memes'
'Yes.'
His mistake was caving in and going back to prepare the coffee.
'My mistake was caving in and going back to prepare the coffee', he explained to Gilad. 'As soon as I opened the doors David stood there staring at me like a deer in the headlights, and I knew I'm in for it'.
'You poor thing', Gilad said unenthused.
'Ronen was there within the minute, lecturing about our responsibility to be constantly vigilant, and carry out the drill so that we shall be prepared in the event of war'.
'The guy just won't take a hint,' Gilad stated, irritated. 'He's a good man but he just won't take a hint. What did you tell him?'
'Look, we've been over this. I will not keep 'undergarments' here. I will* never* keep 'undergarments' here.* *Not for two weeks, not for two hours!'
'Not even for the war?' asked Ronen with an air of triumph
'Especially not for the war!' Adir proclaimed.
'What if a rocket falls on you?!' cried Ronen
'I should hope so', he said to Ronen, who was stunned despite them being over this a million times.
'What do you mean you hope one lands on you?' Ronen demanded. 'Have you ever had a rocket land on you? Oh, it's not pleasant!"
'Because now I'm having a blast! Get it? A blast?'
'What am I going to tell your parents?' Ronen confronted him sharply. 'Your son just stood there and got blasted apart?'
'He had a blast', Gilad piped in despite himself
'You can tell them their son is an idiot,' Adir said. 'Mum already knows. Dad, I'm not so sure'.
'Just go to the bunker,' Ronen spat back with visible disgust. 'You've done enough'.
'What if a rocket falls on me?'.
'Could you lay off for five minutes? We'll discuss this later'
'Can't wait. I'll schedule an appointment.'
'Go.'
'You're an idiot', Ana told him back at the smoking area, where they sat with Gilad and Max about thirty minutes later. 'Why do you bother bickering with them?'
'It pisses me off!'
'Do you think nature's dumbest animal cares?' Gilad rounded on him. 'Do you think a guy like Henesee stops after this and thinks, man, that friggin' P.F.C is right! I am being a jerk! Do you think this happens, in a place like this?'
'I'm not a P.F.C for a while. And it doesn't mean I have to take it'
'Kinda does', Max piped in. 'Kinda does. So shut up, youngster'.
'I have a day over you! One extra day in the army!'
'Sure, young'un. Sure you do. But you'll be released later.'
'Over my cold, dead body'
'Maybe. Who knows?'
'Shut up,' said Gilad. 'You've given me a headache.'
They fell silent until yet another air siren died out. Eitan burst from inside through the door.
'You finished your coffee?' he queried Ana and Max sarcastically.
'Yeah, ok', Max replied neutrally.
'Just finishing a cig,' Ana said.
'Alright. Come soon', he told them. 'Gilad, Adir'. With that he left.
'Come,' said Gilad. 'We have to rescue Yoav. They probably got to him as well. Crazy people.'
'Do you think Eitan will snitch?'
'Of course. Not like he's got anything better to do', Ana blurt out grumpily.
'I'll be dead right inside, per usual', remarked Max.
'I'll go scream into my pillow and change my email signature,' Ana said. 'See you at lunch'.
'Give me some credit,' Adir told them. 'I'll swing by much sooner'.
'Your problem', Max said and let the door slam behind them.
'Come on, enough bullshit', Gilad told him. 'We're going to gather as a squad and discuss your problem, you idiot. Let's fetch Yoav'
'Do you think he can help?'
'Not even you can help. Come on'
'Like you're not an idiot'
'How dare you', Gilad stopped and turned to confront him. 'I've been stuck here for two years with these people. Do you think an idiot like you could have pulled two years like that?'
'Over my cold, dead body'
'You've died like a dozen times the last two hours. Calm down, princess.'
Unsurprisingly, they found Yoav in the department alone with David, who was on with six phones at once.
'Yes, Gilad, I'm still working through the operations log,' he proudly told commander Henesee over the phone. 'Yoav, how's it going with the operations log?' he frantically asked. 'Well, there's the -' 'Yoav, hang on. No, Ronen, the operation log is incomplete. I can't find Adir anywhere. Sent Gilad out to fetch him, and -'
'I'm right here, dude' Adir said. 'You're not looking very hard. It's like I don't mean anything to you, man'
'No! Adir, you kind soul, of course you - Ronen, I'll call you right back!, just wanted to report, okay? I, uh, I have found Adir -- I will add him to the task force, with him and, and uh, Yoav, to handle the operations log, quickly. Can you please keep Gilad up to date? No? Okay, I'll tell him. Just hang on a second, Adir, don't go anywhere. Yes, Gilad, I have Adir here, an- to your office? At 18:00? well, now, look, there's a task forc-'
'Thank god,' Yoav exclaimed as the door slammed on David alone in the platoon. 'The guy really needs a break! They won' t stop calling'.
'Really?' Adir asked innocently. 'It's been a slow day'.
'Ronen just sits upstairs and constantly calls Gilad, who constantly calls David, who constantly calls Dor, who is constantly called by Johnny -- how does anything get done? They just sit around and call each other. No one ever gets up!'
'You have a call', said Gilad.
Adir snatched the phone. 'We're at Operations, David', he said quickly and out of breath. 'The new server fell! Yoav helped set it up so he can help'
'Look, I need Yoa-'
'I'm sorry, I'm being bombarded with calls. Call you from inside', he said and hung up.
'Poor David', Yoav said.
'He chose this', Adir said. 'Part of the job, dealing with pricks like me'.
'Shut up,' said Gilad. 'My head hurts, because of you two.'
'I didn't say any-'
'You too. Off to the Great Computing Conference Room.'
Another siren blared, and everyone else conveniently rushed in the opposite direction. The three naturally assumed a stance of great importance and strode with purpose until everyone was holed up again.
And there they were: The Great Computing Conference Room, the Computing Department's pride and joy.
The other departments in the platoon all had their spots - Networking had the smoking area, and even Comms -- cursed as they were -- could sit around in their spacious room and never talk to each ever, as they often do, because nobody cares what Comms do, including Comms.
Yet Computing had been deprived of that joy -- besieged by the department (the room) a few steps down the road next to the airfield, Communications Platoon command a bit further inward and the Base Command right across, they stood no chance. Until Gilad, tired and greatly depraved of the silence he so desired, had come to a decision.
'This is the Great Computing Conference Room', he had told Yoav and Adir one day when they arrived out back of the Tradition Room, further away from the airstrip just before Construction. 'Look at the luxury! There is this nice ledge, here, and we can shelter at Construction if it rains, and no one comes here ever'.
It was brilliant. Only a few steps further down from Base Command, with a clear line of sight to the department. It was so bold, so audacious, that no one could even think to find them there.
'Yes, I guess no one does', mused Adir, who stared even further away towards the Igloo with sudden interest, as no one had ever done before.
'What are we going to do here?' Yoav asked, skeptical. 'We're just going to sit here with our coffee and discuss events of the day?
'We are going to sit here with our coffee,' Gilad curtly explained, 'And discuss events of the day'.
The three sank in deep thought.
'You know,' Adir told them, 'There really is way too much going on.'
'There's no such thing as too much for the sons and daughters of Job Field Airbase!' Yoav proudly proclaimed, giggling.
'Shut up,' Gilad said.
'Shut up,' Adir said.
'No, I mean, every day here can be a damned soap opera. Something happens every single day'
'You know,' admitted Gilad, 'It's true.'
'A real* Computanovella*', said Yoav
*'*Shut u- no, wait. That's actually brilliant', said Gilad. 'Computanovella, chapter 3253: Opal configures the squadron's emails'
'God, that was a disaster', said Adir.
'Computanovella, episode 6386: David fixes a keyboard', Yoav continued
'The motherboard!' cried Adir. 'We ended up replacing the motherboard! The guy wouldn't listen!'
'He's a good guy, but he just can't take a hint!'
'Computanovella, episode 6972: Adir discovers Igloo meme-haven', Adir added, excited.
'When was that?' asked Yoav
'Why, today', Adir replied, looking further off with newfound greed.
'You're an idiot', said Gilad. 'As well as a co-founder of the Great Computing Conference Room, where we have just proven the system works'
'Our system', stated Yoav
'Of course', Adir retorted. 'Who else's? Those animals?'
'What are you doing here?!' barked some officer they'd never seen at them.
'What are we doing here??' Adir shot up and confronted him. 'What are you doing here?!'
'Me?! How dare you! While you loiter an-'
'*Loiter!? *You come waltzing in from headquarters and think you know it all? Can't you see we're discussing strategy?'
'Out in the open?' the officer demanded. 'That's against information security regulations!'
'It is!' Adir cried. 'This is a confidential zone! You trespass and run off to complain about us? Wait until your commander hears this!'
'What?? I-'
'You're leaving', said Adir, 'and we part as friends'.
The officer checked the time on his iPhone. 'I don't have time for this,' he muttered and strode off.
Chapter IV -- The Machine Is Perfect
Delicate, smooth waves of sandy motes gently blew past the virgin, desolate sands of Firing Range Six. Unbelievably tall hills, the tallest Adir had ever seen, masked the source of the harsh salty wind spray, turbulent ocean waters a rich shade of deep blue in the day's furnace. He thought it a terrible waste to designate such a place to the likes of the military.
He took a deep breath, feeling the warmth of the baked, tainted earth filling him completely. The warmth even took away some of the cold indifference in the muffled shouts he could hear.
"Fire!", he just made out through spongy plugs, and pulled the trigger. The shockwave met rough, dirty green linen as it coarsed through him without resistance.
Even through the earplugs, the roar of gunpowder was deafening. The media never gets it right -- it's such a raw, explosive noise, such a vicious boom of hate and violence ready to pierce both flesh and soul.
"Fire!", the cry came again, and Adir smoothly fell to a crouch with accustomed movement. Six more rounds, the ritual uninterrupted -- a little nudge to position the butt of the rifle, squeezing the cheek against the disgusting, sweat-sodden stock, making contact around the dirty plastic barrel, pulling it close, closer. closing an eye, holding breath, and finally -- the mental leap to pull the trigger, and embrace the violence about to surge past you.
"Fire!", and Adir dropped to the ground and fired ten more bullets with a clean, timed rhythm. He hated how he found it both therapeutic and awesome at the same time, like some dumb middle schooler.
"Cease fire! Cease fire!"
They all rose.
Adir lowered Karl and took out his earplugs.
"CHECK SAFETY!"
"CHECK SAFETY!" they all shouted back.
"RIFLE -- SIXTY DEGREES!"
"RIFLE -- SIXTY DEGREES!"
"MAGAZINE -- PULL OUT!"
"MAGAZINE -- PULL OUT!"
"RIFLE -- DISCHARGE FOR EXAMINATION!"
"RIFLE, DISCHARGE FOR EXAMINATION!"
Adir quickly discharged his rifle and kept it up. He found this part harder than the actual gunfire.
The company commander made the usual scurry behind them.
"Discharge indicator," she spat at Ran at the edge of the line and tapped his shoulder.
"Discharge indicator! Discharge indicator!"
She tapped his shoulder as well. "Discharge indicator!"
Adir put in his discharge indicator. The company commander finished the survey.
"RIFLE, DISARM!" she roared. Adir pressed the thingy and disarmed Karl.
"You may lower your rifles," said the company commander.
"SHOOTERS, CROSS THE LINE OF FIRE!" Commander #5 took back charge and lashed at them, perfectly conveying his deep displeasure of the situation. Disgusting prick.
Everyone slung their blistering rifles aside carefully, and began running across the slosh of sand and old military gunk to the cardboard targets afoot the great wall of sand.
He somehow got to his first. He looked up, fascinated to the shrubs hanging of the hill's side. How can it grow in such a hostile place?
"Adir", said commander Gal. Adir shot her a surprised glanced -- he did not see her running with them. Commander Gal, in turn, seemed surprised by his surprise.
"Let's take a look. How do you think you did?"
"How I did?"
"Yes. Do you think you hit?"
"Hit? Hit what? We're not supposed to hit anything"
"The targets", she said, masking a confident smile.
"Oh! The targets!"
"Yes! Do you think you hit?"
"Well of course I hit the targets. That's what we're supposed to hit, isn't it?"
"You know, not everyone hits at all."
"Kind of funny for a soldier"
Gal was already inspecting the battered cardboard cutout. Adir thought shaping it like a person is quite distasteful, considering his battalion of computer guys, university students and general staff.
"Come with me. The next round is coming up."
She started jogging back, and he took it as an excuse to avoid another sprint as well.
They crossed the line, and she motioned him further on, past the crumbling concrete wall. They were out of the range.
"What side did you end up firing on?"
"I think it was right this time."
"Is this your rifle?"
"Yes, this is Karl."
She gave him a distasteful look. He didn't argue. That lot doesn't get it.
"And you have yours with you, commander"
"Yes, of course," Gal said, flustered. She had lent him her rifle on the previous shootout so they could determine on which side he shoots.
"Do you think you did any better?"
"I honestly don't remember how it went last time."
"Adir, didn't you shoot about ten minutes ago?"
He stared blankly.
"Well, let's see", she browsed her dusty notepad, flipping back and fourth between the pages.
"How strange."
"Yea."
"I didn't tell you anything yet."
"Yea."
Gal gave him a somewhat concerned look and gave a small sigh. "You hit all but two dead center," she said. "If no one this round hits it all, you're first in the company and second in the battalion."
Adir continued staring blankly, not registering at all.
"You had the exact same score on both hands. Never seen it before."
"So I can go akimbo?"
"Could you what?"
"Can I go akimbo, commander?"
"Explain yourself, please, Adir"
"Two rifles, one on each hand, commander", he curtly explained.
"Every soldier gets one rifle, Adir". That lot doesn't get it.
"But I have two"
"That's because Yuval is sick today."
"Oh, he is? Is that why I have his rifle?"
"You can't go akimbo."
"Damn shame. Knew I should have gone to combat. I'm wasted talent at communications"
"That's enough. You're out of line. Go rejoin the squad"
"Yes, commander".
Adir could feel the vibrations in the earth as he kindly waited for Gal to turn her back and head away from the squad into the smallest bit of shade. He awarded her this great courtesy because she was both a commander and a human, a rare gem in Spring Buds Rookie Base.
Commander Gal later found him in the ruins of the old ammunition bunker with a few drifters from other companies.
"Where are your commanders?!" she shouted as they scrammed back outside. Adir looked up and was once again surprised to see her.
"Why were you staring like that?"
Adir was even further surprised by her lack of antagonism. Commander #5 would have fried him alive. Disgusting prick.
"I'm sorry, commander. I don't follow".
"You were staring at your rifle."
"Karl?"
Commander Gal gave another resigned sigh. "You were staring at your rifle, Karl".
"Was I? I...I've been trying to stop it. Keeps happening."
They locked eyes for a few seconds.
"Is everything okay?"
He hesitated.
"There was.. an incident. Shortly before I was drafted". Should he really state that? It hasn't even been a month. And yet, it seems so far off.
"The machine is perfect", she said suddenly with cold determination.
Adir frowned.
"The rifle", she said, moving her own around and inspecting it reverently, "Is a perfect machine. It is a simple mechanism, executed to perfection.
The flaw," she added, "Is always behind the trigger".
With that, she stood up and walked away, leaving Adir with a rare quiet moment to steam gazing at the sands, weak mind racing with new thought.
Chapter V [Unordered] -- Air Force Headquarters
Above all, it was silent. The grand, modern skyscraper, always bustling with activity, stood as a monument to the advancement, the brashness, standing in defiance of the comforting spring sun.
Soft white rays of light made their lazy way to the grey brick path littered with remnants of old cigarettes, the wooden benches crumbling, not a hand tapping against the white tin sealing the narrow passageway. On, the silence went, to the grand space afoot the scraper, the curves brutally leading your eyes up, up so high, the distance not only physical but mental as well, so high you could not bear to look. It draws you into the guts, the cold marble floors and the metallic high ceilings, looking ahead towards the way up to the towers.
One can almost miss the small passageway aside, the chrome gates barring you out and caging you in, and you stand alone with the massive metal door flung aside, and yet hanging there menacingly. Beyond the doorstep lies an older era, not unlike an old hospital, checkered tiles worn and bright wooden railing leading your descent. To him, it felt a descent into madness, watching the officers run up and down in a frenzy, enlisted men slunking up, all professional, and nothing echoes but the sound of heavy boots. Further and further down, each stop a different realm of the same kingdom -- the operators, the intelligence guys, co-ordinators, and you're at the bottom. You're home.
The creak of the floating tiles sears into your very soul, so repulsive you tread lightly. You know where to step -- often blamed for sowing fear and deceit in the banging and crashing that never follow your path like the rest. The effort is unnecessary today -- today is cold, even colder than usual, because the beast is dead and the facade is finished for now. The silence follows, out of habit, further up the passageway and away from the storage area, the crypt of many bright ideals and long, successful careers, gone and forgotten. On and on, to the very source of the seeping cold -- the wide blank doors.
You have nothing to do there, you are seldom wanted there, but there lies your promise, your right, your legacy. None watch behind the cameras today, and so you take a deep breath, hear the faint metallic clunk and step inside.
Rows upon rows upon rows of the very best, as good as it gets, fill this cramped white cavern to the brim, wires running up the causeways just over your head as thick as a man or two. Here, you tread with even more care -- below the soft floors lie more and more wires, delicate strands of life, a life that should have been yours, that are yours, a life that inside yourself, and surfacing, you know you will never live. You browse the rows, back and fourth, watching the text fly on unclosed consoles, hearing the hum of electricity, the screech of a false warm gale your only solace this deep.
You know each and every cabinet -- what it does, why it's there, how to handle it -- at least you think you do, but that doesn't matter -- you are not needed. You are not wanted.
You consider going back inside, with what few elders remain, if only to find something warm to wear, and as revolting as the thought is, you head back out the blank doors, sealing them -- as you know -- for the very last time -- thought none other know yet.
Of its own will, your hand reaches out to the searing metal, and pulls -- to a muted clunk. Nothing.
You are shunned. You are alone. You are relieved, and you are hurt.
The only other way is back, back to the small room with a small blanket, to dose off yet again and let this strange dream pass by as you drift aimlessly towards the warmth. The creaking metal door swings in with a hiss, and an old breeze wafts by, the stench of sweat, dust, and despair. The metal slams with a bang, the first real noise in ages, and darkness leaps into you and envelopes you completely.
The only sound your ragged breath. The only scent ashes of those who have long since left. The only sensation your blood pulsing in delicate veins behind strained ears, aimlessly seeking a sing of life.
You cannot stand this a second longer. There is nothing for you here. There is nothing for you there. There is nothing for you up. Up, at least, you trade the lying wind for the spring sun. You begin your ascent again. You know it to be one of your last -- so you dream, so you will, but where will you go? Anywhere but here. There must be someplace better. Or is there?
Out, out past the checkered tiles and thudding boots, past the fearsome metal door, past the chrome gates and through that massive hall, small and alone. Out to the foothills of this monster, a speck across the grand entryway, drifting with the soft light to the crumbling benches, lowering with a gentle croak of old wood.
Outside, just a hand above your head and a small plunge, you can hear the happy chatter of people, the heavy engines of buses, impatient screeches of cars loaded with families and friends on with their day, blissfully unaware of this.
His eyes drawn up, and he could finally see the top of the building.
Adir spread out his arms, crossed his legs, and with his head tilted upwards he closed his eyes and soaked up every last bit of warmth he could gather.
Chapter III -- Corporal Adir Levin
Adir was woken up with a jolt by Ariel, who towered over him seeming mildly upset.
The first thing he felt was a sharp pain in his temples, and he shuddered back with disgruntled revulsion.
Everything came crashing back at once -- he had spent another night in the Pit, and was now paying the price for it. The headaches hurt him very often lately, which was understandable -- yet it was the worst when waking up in here. No one should have to wake up without sunlight, without wind and fresh air, he thought. But that didn't explain why Ariel was towering over him -- he was deemed problematic, and she had shunned him ever since. He didn't mind, of course, as he was shunning everyone else as well. What a bunch of bastards.
But that still didn't explain why Ariel was towering over him. He sought answers.
"Huh?" he asked eloquently.
"Huh," Ariel replied with visible disgust. "Good morning."
"I've had better."
"Everyone else is cleaning."
Great, he thought, Passive aggression for breakfast again.
"OK"
"Go help."
"I'm really in pain."
"Can't you even help?"
"I don't know."
Ariel kept staring him down, which was unusually aggressive for her. She was always quite cheerful and accepting, which Adir absolutely hated. Is he really that bad?
"Go wash your face or something. You're a mess."
"If you'd had a night like I had," he answered, "You'd be a mess too."
"I've had plenty."
"Good for you."
Ariel finally disengaged. Adir rose from his office chair -- how he ever fell asleep in that thing he could not tell for the life of him -- put away his book, tossed aside his coat and went towards the bathroom. Looking around, he was dumbstruck by the amount of people in the room. There were well over four dozen people in Operation today, which was significant, and they were all running around with great vigor.
He had to dodge several officers on the way out, all of which eyed him suspiciously -- some with open animosity, though he did not know them.
He was glad to put Operation's big metal doors behind him, and started the endless trek through the hall to the bathrooms, praying no one else was there. He creeped on the floating tiles with hard won mastery -- if even one of them bangs again today his head would literally explode -- and reached the bathroom.
He stood in front of one of the sinks in the long, disgusting row, keeping his eyes lowered and doing his utmost to ignore his surroundings. He reached in his pockets and was glad to find his toothbrush, toothpaste and a bar of soap each wrapped neatly in plastic sandwich bags -- at last a success in these troubling times. He brushed his teeth, lathered the soap and carefully washed his face with frigid, mildly yellow water. When he felt mildly more refreshed, he finally gathered some loose wisps of courage and met his image on the mirror.
His reflection gazed back, amazed and horrified.
The image he saw was very far from how he remembered himself, and the dissonance jarred him.
He was gaunt, and there were great dark gray circles around his eyes. He had far too much stubble for a single night, and his faced looked wrinkled and greasy even after washing. And the eyes... the eyes felt... wrong. Too cold. Too lifeless. He quickly looked away, realizing he was breathing uneasily.
Slinking back he found everyone putting away the cleaning supplies, but against his expectations the frenzy did not slow down -- it even magnified, which was disconcerting. Nothing good can come out of this.
Unhelpfully, the first person he ran into was Keren.
From the second he stepped into Headquarters, Keren absolutely despised Adir -- and this time, he could not figure out why. It was something else -- a raw, seething hatred, a hatred of great velocity, intensified with each time they met. In a way, it was refreshing to be hated so intensely -- and while Adir did mildly dislike her for it, he did not hate her back nearly as much, which sort of made him the winner in this transaction.
"Ariel, he finally bothered showing up", she muttered back into the Operations Chamber staring at him yet never addressing him. To her, he was some animal unworthy of engaging in conversation, and if that was a mean to attain the peace Adir so desperately sought he took it without hesitation.
Ariel scurried towards them from much further back in the chamber with a speed that greatly concerned him. This was not good.
"Where have you been?? it's been twenty minutes!"
"I-"
"Ugh, never mind. Just go back and get in line." She surveyed him carefully. "And put on all of your badges, Why would you even take them off?"
"I-"
"Never mind. Your problem. Model yourself and get in line. The commander's coming any minute."
With that, they both scattered. Adir stood there dazed and confused for a few seconds until Karin passed nearby.
"Hi, Adir"
Adir admired Karin greatly. She always seemed peaceful, and always treated him with respect.
"Hi, Karin. What's happening?"
"The unit commander is coming any second to grant our ranks." she replied without a hint of judgment. "The grant is scheduled for 10:00"
"The grant?"
"Yes, we're getting our corporals!" Karin told, beaming. "You didn't know?"
"I had no idea. It's been ten months already?"
"Would you believe it?" Dennis chimed in from behind. "We've been stuck here a while!"
"See you," said Karin and went further into the chamber.
Adir sat down in his spot and pondered all these new findings when officers flooded the room, put on their berets and rose suddenly. A bunch of random people stood around Adir, all with eyes towards the back of the room where Adir's eight coursemates stood proud and motionless. Grateful for the anonymity, Adir stood like the rest and gazed ahead with purpose.
The Horizon commander, Secondary Champion Ram Halabi, stepped into the room after an escort of officers from PR. He walked around the room casually greeting anyone he came across with an easygoing, friendly manner as he made his way towards the back. Adir was again grateful for his tactical remote location, far away from the passageway. The department commander, John, quickly appeared at his side.
"Hello, everyone. Officers, NCO's, soldiers. How happy I am to be here! What a happy day!"
A murmur of agreement came from the crowd.
"Hello, Ram, happy to have you here as always", said John with atypical enthusiasm. "So, as you may or may not know", he said cheerfully, "We've gathered to grant these great soldiers, cycle 38 of Computing Systems Infrastructure Management, the rank of Corporals. In the Greens, and in other units of the force, it's not the custom to make it a ceremony; Certainly not with the unit commander -- When I was a corporal a million years ago, I was handed the rank and told to sow it on!"
That was a killer, apparently; An audible chuckle went through the crowd.
"But here, in the Horizon unit, we treat our people with the respect they deserve. The are skilled professionals, devoted soldiers, and they've worked hard to earn their rank. Corporal is said to be an automatic rank -- stay ten months, and you have it, but that's not true. A rank is earned, not bestowed! I've seen people remain Privates throughout their service, some even rookies, and I hope never to come across that again! Here are people who worked hard, and so we wanted to do them the honors, bring Ram here to show them how much we appreciate them -- and grant their rank from the unit commander, personally. Ram?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ram spread his arms and looked about the room with ecstasy.
"How great it is to gather with good news for a change!" he declared proudly, and a wave of clapping went through the room.
"Ah, there's no need for much introduction, is there? We all know each other. We all work together. And we all watched these fine young men and women, standing here before us, grow empowered as they shape the next generation of the defense of our country. Those on the outside may be mistaken as to think these are quiet times, but if only I could tell you what goes on in the shadows! The threats nowadays are much more severe than most care to think. It is only via our..."
At this point, the Horizon commander went into the omnipresent rant about the air force's crucial air superiority, the threats from the north, the technological advantage which the air force has gathered and the increasing reliance on it, all delivered with a confident, deliberate speech.
Adir, who had heard this speech dozens of times since joining the air force (do they gather monthly and rehearse these things? They're so alike!), naturally drifted away skillfully. He was a person of incredible mental will, a trait which manifested itself very helpfully in these situations -- once he decided he does not want to hear, then he will not commit so much as a syllable further into memory, and looking into his rigid stance and attentive eyes you would never see it.
Now, however, he was exhausted -- and in his fatigued mentality, something managed to slip through the cracks.
Ram approached each of his coursemates in order. As if through a haze, he could see each receiving their rank. Daniel, ever the happy-go-lucky, saluted each of the commanders proudly and stood facing the crowd as they sewn in his rank, one sleeve each. Each gave him a loud pat on the back, and he thanked them with his clear, ringing voice.
Dennis stood casually, but with a smug air, and received his after respectfully shaking the commander's hands rather than going for the pat. Karin thanked them each in her quiet, shy voice, with eyes downcast as her rank was sown. Roni, ever the energy blast, often blurted out amazed excerpts - 'I can't believe this is finally happening!', 'Thanks so much for this! That's awesome'. Arrogant as ever, Tom gave each commanders a strong handshake after a small, satisfied chuckle, and then of course prompted them to give him a 'worthwhile' pat on the back. Omer, always in neutral, merely went with a 'yeah, cool', and shook hands as if with buddies from highschool. Dana screeched with excitement and giggled with glee, never managing to gather her feelings into a coherent word, let alone a sentence. Reasonable Chen addressed the two commanders as of dealing with two respected colleagues, Thanking them humbly with an official, reserved greeting and a friendly air.
Each of them were praised as they received their rank -- how they had solved this and that malfunction, how funny it was when this and that happened to them, how much so and so trait help the team and make everyone happy. Adir had not been there for nearly all of the events described, recent arrival as he was, and could not relate -- yet even through the haze, the words hurt him. He felt envious of the standing his coursemates made for themselves -- knowing full well from their own words they were unhappy. It was a facade, he know, but he could not help but feel strong misgivings, pangs of regret and solitude -- perhaps if he had powered through at Hutspace, he could attain that ever-off acclimation he so desired, and be left alone in peace.
But why should I wait to be left alone in peace, if I can force the others to acknowledge I am alone, in peace? He thought, and with that took a deep breath, feeling himself washed away, and shut himself down from the rest of the room through sheer determination. It always works.
This time, however, it backfired magnificently.
When he next opened his eyes, every single person in the room was staring at him -- some with unveiled curiosity, some with open contempt, others with confusion and some even with a shred of pity. He had no idea what was going on, and was suddenly growing aware of his sorry state. He felt his eyelids droop, the heavy black circles around the eyes throbbing, the wrinkles around his eyes and forehead dry and stiff, the skin greasy.
Amit was suddenly at his side.
"Come up, Adir. Why did you even stand out here? Come on!"
Adir furrowed his brow, and stared Amit down for an answer.
"You're getting your rank, Adir! It's your turn. Come up! Everyone's waiting"
Then it suddenly registered.
They're granting** me** a rank? He wondered, stunned.
They're granting ME a rank!? He thought, indignant. What a fucking charade!
Amit motioned John to come over, and he promptly surged through the crowd parting for him until he was at Adir's side as well. He grasped his arm, trying to lead him up, eyes towards Ram. Amit put a hand between his shoulder blades. "Go on, it's okay. Go and receive your rank like the rest of your friends."
What happened next was profoundly idiotic, on Adir's part, and he was well aware of it beforehand. Adir realized very early on he could not fight every affront thrown his way by the military -- hell, he could not consider even 5% of them. He had to pick his battles, so he may have the strength to stand his ground where it mattered. These stupid affronts, he would have to take. He would have to stand there like an idiot, no one knowing him, no one saying one positive thing about him, and receive these two stupid stripes that declared him as slightly less a piece of shit than everyone else.
"No," he said. His voice rang surprisingly loud in the silence.
John turned to stare at him, alarmed.
"Are you missing your markings?" Amit asked. "It's okay -- I had some brought for you. Here -" he handed Adir a set of two Corporal markings. "You'll need to bring the other sets afterwards from HQ. Now -"
"I'm not going", he said again, and was surprised to hear how feeble his voice sounded. He was shaking, he realized suddenly -- with fear, anger, stress or sadness he could not even tell.
In the Pit, things stay very constant. The lights are always on, and the temperature is always fifteen degrees Celsius. There's always the hum of servers and fans in the background, and every ten minutes or so a short alarm or announcement is sound. Under such static conditions, Adir's emotions stabilized as well -- growing more timid with each passing day until, finally, dying out completely. He had felt nearly nothing for well other two months now; nothing upset him greatly. Nothing brought him joy. Nothing went beyond irritating him, and being tired was just another state of being.
But now, now he was flooded. He was quivering with anger, tearful with sadness, breath heaving with stress and panic coursing through every vein in his body. He was proud, he was assertive, and he was deeply hurt.
He could see Ram, from the corner of his eye, considering the situation awkwardly. The man who'd just been so eloquent and precise now seemed at a loss for words.
John stared him down severely. Adir thought he could see a brief flash of sympathy in his eyes, which was quickly gone.
'We'll talk about this later', he said quietly, and motioned Ram to continue.
Chapter [] - The Second Trial
Dor burst in on Adir while he was eating one of the fabulous oranges from the dining room, in the room with the rest of the squad. Adir had expected this, as this was one of his few moments of respite, therefore bound to be interrupted. That, and Henesee's threat to take him to trial.
'Adir, come outside for a moment', said Dor in his subdued yet very clearly arrogant manner. It was a subtle rivalry, of those two; Dor always acted fine on paper, but when you read into the subtleties, be was very clearly hostile. Take the phrasing of that very sentence: Come outside, not could you please come outside, or can I see you outside a moment, or even come here for a second. It was very clearly a command, issued from a superior to an inferior. Just because he was a commander doesn't mean he has that right, Adir thought, and conveyed this often to Dor, who respectfully answered with an 'I see'.
'I'm eating an orange,' said Adir.
'I can see,' said Dor and continued no further, still standing in the doorway. Adir in turn continued eating his orange.
'I'm waiting,' Dor remarked after another twenty seconds or so.
'I can see,' said Adir and continued no further, still eating his orange.
'Adir, when people are called upon,' Dor curtly explained, 'They usually answer to whomever called them.
'Dor, for me to fit that definition,' said Adir, 'I would have to qualify as people, which I currently do not'.
As usual, Dor was flabbergasted. 'Not people? Why not? Surely you're a person!'
'You're being annoying,' Gilad helpfully tossed in.
'No, he's just enjoying a ripe, juicy orange. Is that right, Adir?'
'Not currently, but I certainly mean to try.'
'As much as I like our banters, Adir, you need to come outside.'
'Okay'. Adir stared at his watch. 'We went for lunch in 12:00. Therefore, I am entitled to another full thirteen minutes of lunchtime, after which I must be physically present at the department. Is that not so?'
'It is,' said Dor, finally losing some patience, 'But I called you now'.
'And now is my central-command assigned lunch break, which entitles me under martial law to do as I please within the confines of the base and human rights to do as I please. I choose to eat this ripe, juicy orange.'
'We'll take care of you afterwards. Don't you worry,' Dor said in his clever double-meaning way.
'Oh, no need. I feel very taken care of.'
Dor sighed deeply. 'Okay then. Since you refuse to come, we'll do it here in front of everybody. Last chance...'
Adir stared him down, his nerves getting the better of him.
'The department commander has set your trial for 13:15. Be there on A-type uniform, in time. Shined shoes. No funny business.'
'You're taking away from my break time,' Adir answered, 'Hence I'll be there at 13:18'.
'That kind of knitpicking won't work with the commander.'
'Speaking from experience?'
Dor sighed irritably and left.
'You're an ass', said Gilad.
'A real ass,' Ana agreed.
'See? When can agree', said Gilad.
'We don't agree on anything.'
'Don't you think he's being an idiot?'
'No.'
'Why?'
'Because you think he's an idiot.'
'I've had it with you people,' Gilad said, 'and would have left now had I cared. Goodbye. I am not in the room.'
'Ciao,' Max threw in.
So the bastard wants another go. This time, however, Adir felt smug rather than angry.
'You get used to it pretty quickly', said Ana, who'd been trialed countless times. At that point, Micha walked in.
'Trialed again?' he asked Adir in his concise, no frills manner.
'Yup'
'Oh, he's pissed. You're gonna have a blasted.'
'How do you know?'
'Where do you think I just came from?'
'Anything good?'
'5 days in base. Per usual.'
'That's peanuts. See ya at dinner.' Micha left off for his business.
The remaining 9 minutes were spent in speculation on the trial's outcome -- all present spelt doom for Adir, who adamantly insisted he had a plan, yet refused to divulge it.
'Hope you got those two weeks of underpants ready,' said Max.
'I will change my underpants at home tonight, after coming home and hugging my mother. You cynical brats will all see.'
'Of course, honey, of course', said Ana. 'See ya at dinner'
'Absolutely not'.
Adir knew he managed to frustrate Dor when David showed up at 13:12 to pick him up. He never quite understood why he must be picked up considering the office was across the road.
'Adir! You're late for your trial! You're not dressed yet? Oh, Henesee is going to be pissed! Wait, I'll call him, I- '
'My trial is at 13:18. I have a full 5 minutes to get dressed! We're all good, David'
'But Dor told me 13:15, and now I-'
'It's okay. You can go on your business. I'll be there.'
'Henesee told me to escort you -- but he told me not to say, I'm saying this for you, because I ca-'
'Fine, fine, I'm getting dressed,' he said and slammed the door.
Two minutes later they stood outside the door waiting to be called in.
'You enter with your head bowed down, beret on your head, you only answer with 'yes commander' or 'no commander', clean uniform, only speak when spoken to, only-'
'I'll manage, David. I'm sure you're very busy.'
Those were the magic words. 'Of course! Okay. I'm going. Promise me you'll go in! I told Henesee I'll send you in'
'I don't make promises. But you did your part'
'It's always so difficult with you,' David offered compassionately and left.
'Adir!' Henesee roared in his coarse, disgusting voice. Adir waited a few seconds in defiance before waltzing in.
'You wanna start of like that already? What's all that? Where's the beret!? And you look me in the eye!'
'We're a pair of human beings, not silverback gorillas. I'm sure you'll manage.'
'No, no. Scram. We'll do it a thousand times, until you get it right. Go outside. Now!'
Rather than prolong this fight throughout the day, Adir decided to get it over with. He stepped outside, put on the stupid beret and stepped in again.
He looked Henesee right in eye, of course -- that much he won't give the bastard -- but seeing him sitting at the edge of that stupid room wearing that *stupid *officer's cap defused Adir completely, and he started laughing before quickly supressing it.
'What is it?' Henesee asked, furious.
'No no, it's just, I - '
'Do you think now's the appropriate time? Again!'
'Fine, fine.'
Adir did the whole loop again.
'I see that's the best I'll get out of you. Very well. We'll see how that affects my conclusion.'
Had Adir not come in with an agenda, he would have made some nasty remark -- but fueled by spite, he managed to hold back.
'Adir, you stand on trial for a desertion of one whole day of service, after refusing to stay and man the operational department, leaving home without leave from your commander. Stand up straight, come on!'
'Do you agree to be judged by me, your commander, over the charge of this offence?'
'No.'
'It's No, Commande-' Henesee spat out before registering the response. 'No? Refusing me means the case to be taken up to the squadron commander. You know that?'
'Yes.'
'Yes, commander,'
Adir did not break his gaze and added nothing.
'I- You know what that means, right? The Commander can give much heavier penalties. You cannot take the request back. Let's try again. Do you agree to be judged by me, your commander, over the charge of this offence?'
Adir took a small step towards him. 'No,' he said, smirking arrogantly, 'Commander'.
Henesee exhaled with deep, furious malice.
'You know what? Let's talk off the record here. I wanna get to the bottom of this. Why the hell would you want to go to the squadron commander?'
Adir guffawed. 'Are you joking?'
'Not at all!' Henesee said, suddenly offended. 'Do you not trust my impartiality?'
'Your impartiality? You'd send me off to the firing squad, if you had the means! Is this some kind of sick joke?'
'I don't know why you'd say something so distasteful, really. After we took you in and treated you so fairly.'
'If that's your definition of fair, I suggest you start looking for a new base for me, because this won't end well.'
'Oh, It will -- I'll make a soldier out of you, one trial at a time! But first, I want to understand. Answer me this -- did you or did you not go home on Thursday?'
'I did.'
'So you plead guilty'
'I don't plead anything, particularly since I'm not on trial.'
'You are, but we're pausing that for a moment, of fairness to you. You're charged with having left before the time, and you say you left, and Dor says he never released you. So you plead guilty.'
'First, I don't plead anything. I don't plead -- I'm telling you what happened. Dor never said anything. We were all told to go home. And everyone went home.'
'He didn't tell you to go, thought'
'He never told anyone by name. We were all together and he said 'go home', so we did'.
Henesee frowned in thought. 'Dor says he told you specifically not to go.'
'Bullshit.'
'Watch your language'
'Tell Dor to watch his. No such thing was ever said.'
Such a thing was, in fact, said -- Dor brazenly past them by and added, almost whispering, to Adir -- 'not you' -- after telling them to go, in his usual smug, correct manner. Adir was so pissed -- especially after being held up last time -- he decided to go, and take the case to the squadron commander and show these fucks he's not scared of them.
'So you plead innocent.'
'I don't plead anything. I didn't do it.'
'Look, you can either plead innocent or plead guilty. You either plead guilty -- 'I went home despite Dor's orders' -- and acknowledge your fault and perhaps soften your punishment -- or you plead innocent, saying 'I didn't go home''.
'I did go home'.
'So you plead guilty'.
'I don't plead anything! And I'm not guilty!'
'Did you or didn't you go home??'
'I did, because he told me to go home!'
'You see,' said Henesee, 'That's pleading guilty, but contesting the circumstances.'
'What circumstances? What are you on about? No one told me anything!'
'You say, 'I went home' -- therefore you are guilty -- but the offence is incorrect -- you weren't told to go home -- therefore contesting the circumstances, your feedback to be considered in your punishment.'
Adir stood dumbstruck.
'Listen,' he said, barely keeping himself from shouting -- 'I have not the slightest idea as to whatever you want from me. I truly don't. Name it whatever military jibberish. I didn't do it. That's what I claim.'
"How can you not know this? Weren't you judged before?''
'No,' said Adir, 'I did not'.
Henesee was stunned. 'You mean to tell me you've been acting like this for two years, and never stood trials? Those headquarters guys are soft!'
'Or,' Adir added, 'Radical idea -- I'm not the problem.'
'Whatever. Adir, you can't claim anything', he said, 'you can plead, and your judge -- me or the commander- determine what happened'
'How on earth can you determine what happened? You weren't there!'
'I hear your statement, and Dor's, and decide.'
'How impartial!'
'How is that not impartial? That's the martial law!'
'Oh, sure! Who are you two going to believe -- Dor, the commander, who you're chumming with every day and would not want to offend because you need his talents, or me -- the piece of shit mistfit corporal - as you plead. Now do you understand?'
'Alright, I'm done' said Henesee. 'Scram. You wanna go to the commander? Fine. You'll go to the commander. And you'll see how impartial we are! Then you'd wish you trusted me'
'And how could I not after that lovely speech?'
'Scram! Go back to work!'
And Adir did scram, furious, but content -- his goal had been achieved.
'You just made everything a billion times worse', Yoav cried in despair and frustration. 'What exactly did you achieve?'
'I want to hurt them just as bad as they hurt me,' said Adir. 'Every time that buffon wants to throw me a gut punch, I'll make sure he takes one as well.
'And what if you're sentenced to two weeks of base confinement now, because of that stupid trick?' asked Gilad.
'Then I'll gladly stay knowing I didn't give that smug bastard power over me.'
The Room went quiet. Ana nodded silently.
'Honestly,' said Gilad, 'I can respect that'.