shmick/secret-project
Archived
1
0
Fork 0
Code Issues Pull Requests Projects Releases Wiki Activity

Finished opener

Browse Source
This commit is contained in:
Royal Purple Gerbil
2020-11-12 22:55:52 +02:00
parent 47699c813e
commit 5fb69c505b
1 changed files with 377 additions and 53 deletions
Download Patch File Download Diff File Expand all files Collapse all files

430
The_Difference_Between_an_Idiot_and_a_Moron.md
View File

@@ -1,13 +1,14 @@
The Difference Between an Idiot and a Moron
Adir sat alone in the waiting room. He could feel the receptionist\'s
eyes on him, and huddled nervously on simple plastic chair.
eyes on him, and huddled nervously on a plain plastic chair.
He was in a small, light-beige colored room, the color almost identical
to his uniform, blending him in, swallowing him. Traces of strong noon
daylight came through the milky glass panels around the door.
to his uniform, blending him in, swallowing him like an unmerciful
beast. Soft traces of strong noon daylight came through the milky glass
panels around the door.
A plain, small plaque read 'Dedicated Personel Officer'.
Upon it, a small plain plaque read 'Dedicated Personel Officer'.
The room was lit with harsh white halogen bulbs - Adir could scarcely
raise his head without instinctively reaching for his temples. Some
@@ -47,7 +48,7 @@ Tom. Rachel, when is Tom's appointment due?'
'10:30', the receptionist shot back without drawing breath.
'Well, I shan't wait any further then. Adir, you're scheduled for...
11:45, was it?"
11:30, was it?"
"12:00"
@@ -78,8 +79,8 @@ just thinking about.
The Dedicated Personel Officer's room was not large, but it felt
spacious thanks to the grand floor-to-ceiling window overlooking the
entryway outside -- Adir could just see the soldiers streaming in and
out of the building. The only furnishings were a simple, standard issue
entryway outside. Adir could just see the soldiers streaming in and out
of the building. The only furnishings were a simple, standard issue
wooden desk and three more simple plastic chairs against the wall,
facing ninety degrees from the desk. A few simple photos were on the
walls, as well as a small picture frame on the desk -- yet he could not
@@ -88,16 +89,16 @@ make out anything in them.
The officer made her way behind the desk, her back to the window, with
well adjusted movements.
"You can sit down, Adir. It's the same price", she said softly. He had
not realized he was still standing, and so, flustered, he sat down
"You can sit down, Adir. It's the same price", she said softly, and Adir
-- who had not realized he was still standing, sat down flustered and
huched on the middle chair. The officer watched him with observant eyes
but made no remark.
"Adir, I am Tamara -- I've been a psychologist here for just over
fifteen years now. I am the head of the personnel department, and I do
not usually treat soldiers as they come in, aside from more severe
cases. However, I understand you've been waiting for some time -- a
month or so, was it?"
"Adir, I am Tamara. I've been a psychologist here for just over fifteen
years now. I am the head of the personnel department, and I do not
usually treat soldiers as they come in, aside from more severe cases.
However, I understand you've been waiting for some time -- a month or
so, was it?"
"Since December", Adir answered weakly.
@@ -134,19 +135,19 @@ are... 20?"
"Born late December, '97"
"Had birthday in boot camp", he chuckled.
"Had birthday in boot camp", he chuckled nervously.
"Have Both parents?"
"Both parents are well?"
"Thankfully yes"
"Do you have any siblings?"
"A younger sister, and a younger brother"
"A younger sister, and a younger brother."
"Fill in their details here, please". She handed him a form and a pen on
her notepad. Adir painstakingly filled them -- it took a surprisingly
long time.
" I'll need you to fill in their details here, please". She handed him a
form and a pen on her notepad. He painstakingly scribbled them bit by
bit -- it took a surprisingly long time.
"Any of them in service?" she asked as he was slaving away.
@@ -154,20 +155,25 @@ long time.
"Isn't your sister of age?"
"She is. Wasn't cut out for it. She's in National service". He handed
back the form.
"She is."
"Doing what?"
"What happened?"
"Wasn't cut out for it. She's in National service". He handed back the
form.
"Doing what?", Tamara asked absent minded, brows furrowed as she
deciphered his handwriting.
"Teaching at-risk youth."
Tamara smiled widely. "That's lovely!"
Tamara looked up and smiled widely. "That's lovely!"
"I'm proud of her".
"I'm really proud of her".
"And your brother?"
"How about your younger brother?"
"He's fine"
"He's fine. Good student."
"Does he know what he's going to do in the army?"
@@ -177,15 +183,15 @@ Tamara smiled widely. "That's lovely!"
"Dad's a physicist. Mom's a lawyer"
"Where does he work?"
"Where does your father work?"
"Ministry of defence"
"Ministry of Defence"
"Sounds interesting! What does he do?"
"Sounds interesting. What does he do?"
"No idea. He can't say."
"Must be odd."
"I'm quite familiar with it, being here. Must be difficult for you."
"He's a bit of a drama queen. Always complains about his rough day. But
I can never tell if he's bluffing."
@@ -195,17 +201,19 @@ I can never tell if he's bluffing."
"They met at the job, so she knows what's going on. It's really
annoying".
"She's a lawyer?"
"You mentioned she's a lawyer?"
"Yes."
"She is."
"Of what field?"
"What kind of lawyer?"
"Workspace law. I was the most well treated waiter on Earth."
"I see. Everything good at home? Violence between the parents?"
"I see," said Tamara.
"None."
"Everything good at home? Violence between the parents?"
"No."
"Financial status?"
@@ -213,7 +221,7 @@ annoying".
"Wealthy?"
"No, no. Upper middle class, maybe".
"Wouldn't say so. Upper middle class, maybe".
"And you? Big spender?"
@@ -221,16 +229,28 @@ annoying".
"What for?"
Adir hesitated. "I'll see."
Adir hesitated. "Whatever comes. I'll see."
"Let's go over your service thus far. What is your role called, again?"
"So, let's go over your service thus far, shall we?"
Adir vaguely gestured a 'go ahead'.
"What is your role called, again?"
"I am a Computing Systems Infastructure Manager".
"Sound big. What do you do?"
"Role number?" she asked, scribbling.
"We're in charge of maintaining the military's operational datacenters
and classified computing systems. Spread across all corps."
"1850".
"Never heard of it before"
"It's not air force. Communication corps"
"That explains it. What do you do?"
"We're in charge of maintaining the military's operational data centers
and classified computing systems. Spread throughout the corps"
"Must be interesting".
@@ -244,14 +264,22 @@ Adir said nothing, and Tamara surveyed him cautiously.
"We heard jets and mortars at night."
"Right, right! It's just by the strip, isn't it?"
"15km."
"Must be hard."
"It was interesting. Didn't struggle especially."
"Afterwards, you were stationed at the Cyber Defence Academy."
"Following that, you were stationed at the Cyber Defence Academy."
"Defense Forces Academy Of Computer Professions And Cyberspace Defense.
It's a mouthful."
"Defense Forces Academy Of Computer Professions And Cyberspace Defense",
he intoned sarcastically.
"If you say so"
"It's a mouthful"
"What did you study?"
@@ -259,25 +287,33 @@ It's a mouthful."
Operating systems. Some databases. A bit of computer hardware. Some
programming."
"And how did you do?"
"Were you a good study?"
"I was the underdog. But I pulled through nicely."
"What's drawn you into computers?"
"Nothing at all". Tamara looked at him questioningly.
"Nothing at all."
Tamara looked at him questioningly.
"It's a cold, dead field."
"It sounds like you've gone through some hardcore training. Why?"
"It sounds like you've gone through some hardcore training. If that's
why you think -- why did you do it?"
"That's what they offered."
"They?"
"The army."
"It's a voluntary course."
"Had no other choice lined up."
"Had no other choice lined up. It sounded cool at the time, so I went
for it."
"What about your education, Adir? Finished highschool?"
"Let's go over your education, Adir. Finished highschool?"
"Yes."
@@ -285,17 +321,20 @@ programming."
"It didn't run that year."
"And you didn't go on your own?"
"Many decide to go on their own."
Adir straightened his slouch and looked at Tamara.
"No," he said.
"Not me," he said.
Tamara caught his gaze and held it intently. This was the first time he
had seen her eyes.
"What did you study in highschool?"
It took him a moment to register the question -- her hard gaze
distracted him greatly.
"Biology and Biotechnology."
"Quite a long way off from the cold, dead field of computers".
@@ -337,4 +376,289 @@ and some even well afterwards."
"Can imagine. Not very useful, though."
"So what's hurting you, Adir? You know where you stand."
"So what's hurting you, Adir? You know where you stand. You knew this
was coming, from what I gather. Everything's fine at home. It sounds
like you lead a good life thus far."
"I did. I'm quite satisfied."
"So why are you here?" she peered into him. This time, he stood his
ground.
Adir composed himself and stared back.
"I am depressed", he said. It still hurt admitting it, but it *was*
getting easier.
"I wouldn't say it's up to you to decide; you hadn't visited a mental
health professional, as we've established. Or have you?"
"Not recently."
"So, you self diagnose. I'll be happy to talk to you, and we'll figure
out what's wrong and how I can help together. But blatant self-diagnosis
-- it will get us nowhere. So let's avoid that terminology, for now."
Adir did not break his gaze.
"Call it whatever you will -- that's the best name I have for it at
present."
"What makes you think you're depressed, Adir?"
"It's the small things. It gets harder to get out of bed every day. My
head always hurts, and I can never concentrate anymore."
Tamara listened intently and said nothing.
"I just don't care about anything anymore. I don't bother seeing my
friends, or doing anything for myself, or at all really. I feel hollow,
and cold. I'm always so, so tired."
Tamara remained silent.
"I figured out something's wrong when I realized that if I sit alone in
a blank room, and everything's absolutely fine -- I'll just... get sad.
Just because."
Tamara nodded and thought. Adir said nothing.
"Why do you think you feel like that?"
"I... don't know. I've always been resilient. Nothing really happened
and I just... broke down."\
"How have you been coping?"
"I haven't, really. Back during training, I could still function.
Nowadays, I'm utterly useless."
"Surely you're not utterly useless."
"I haven't been working a good several months now. Nobody bothers."
"What do you mean?"
"They kicked me out. I know my job, and I know it damn well. But they
thought I wasn't worth it. And I've been idle ever since."
"Adir, nobody thinks you're 'not worth it'. You are here, getting
treatment, aren't you?"
"It took half my service, but sure. I guess I am".
"Let's not go to such harsh tones! I'm here to help, Adir"
"You see," he said passionately, "I'm sure you are. And my commanders
have been saying the same thing since boot camp. But at the end of the
day, those are all just big words that don't amount to anything. I've
been struggling for... eighteen months now. And I've yet to see anyone
lift a finger.
I'm not saying this against you -- I know how it sounds, but I'm not,
really.
But I've lost faith. I'll believe it when I see it."
"I'm sorry you feel that way," she said.
"I am, too", Adir answered, blinking back tears. "I am, too."
"Have you talked to any of your commanders?"
"I did, sure. You know, I got transferred here -- that doesn't really
happen. They knew I had trouble at Hutspace. But they clung to me like a
wet towel."
"How so?"
"Training is supposed to be another four months over the Communication
corp training. I've already done it in Hutspace. I had the same role.
But they insisted I go through it again.
Fine. I did. It took me two weeks -- and they just said I should wait
until I get enrolled into shifts. That never happened. They 'didn't like
my energy'. When I came to ask them what's that all about, I was
berated."
"What did they tell you?"
"You walk around with your head down. You don't have a passion; being
here is a privilege, and yet you don't act like you're privileged. How
can we trust you like that?"
"Must be frustrating, feeling as you describe -- but I'm sure it's out
of good intentions"
"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."
"So it's said."
They sat silent for a while.
"What did you tell them?"
"Same as I've told you. I'm depressed."
"That was late November"
"And I've been away ever since."
"What have you been doing?"
"Both my commanding officer and his commanding officer were replaced in
mid-December. The new officer has never so much as seen my face. Most of
the squad has been promoted and replaced since."
"Haven't you? You should be a corporal by now, but you're not wearing
your rank."
"I refused my rank."
"I didn't know you can do that."
"The unit commander came to our entire cycle -- eight of us from
Communications. They made a big scene of it, and asked me to come up. I
said no. What can they do in front of everyone?"
"Why would you refuse?"
"Why would I accept it? I'm not working. They kept blabbering about how
rank is 'earned, not just granted'. What did I ever do to earn it,
besides pouting and being miserable?"
"That doesn't come across as very cooperative".
Adir let that roll around for a bit. "No," he replied. "I suppose it
doesn't".
Tamara sighed.
"I'll tell you what, Adir. I think you're just a little misplaced. Many
young men have trouble adapting to their new roles, especially those
that grasp themselves as resilient -- like you. I think we can have a
long talk with your new commanding officer, get you reinstated, and keep
talking from there.
How does that sound?"
"The new commanding officer," Adir said, "Is from Hutspace, and
witnessed the whole spectacle I threw to get myself out of there. She's
judged me now, and she doesn't know I'm here. I'd like to keep it that
way."
"Now, what exactly do you mean, 'she doesn't know I'm here'?"
"I feel there's not much room for interpretation there".
"You show up every day. How can she not know?"
"The thing is, Tamara," he said, "I don't, and haven't in a while."
"You mean you don't enter the office?"
"No, no", he said. "I mean I've been sitting at home."
The officer considered this gravely.
"You mean to say you're absent in service?"
"In December, I was an absent in service. By now, I'm well into defector
territory."
"I'm sorry, but I just don't believe you."
"I thought you'd say so. But I ask you to take a good, hard look at me.
Do you think I got a permit for my beard? Or that I haven't been caught
without my rank yet? You've likely sent a mail with this appointment,
did you?"
"We did, several times. You didn't respond."
"Does that seem reasonable to you that a Systems Administrator in air
force headquarters has no access to a computer to respond to his
emails?"
"Adir, it just can't be. I'm sorry, but I don't accept this"
"And I do? It's degrading. I've never been so humiliated in my life.
But let's go down to the Pit -- to where I'm supposedly stationed. You
can see my Gatekeeper card get rejected, because it hasn't been in use
for five months.
Let's go down there, and see if anyone recognizes me at all, commanders
included -- no one's seen me with the beard. I didn't have it when I
left! That's how long I've been gone. If so much as a private recognizes
me, I'll withdraw and never bother you again.
All I ask is we come and take a look."
Tamara drew a tense, long breath.
"So what do you want, Adir?"
"I signed up. I did whatever they asked me to. I pulled through that
vicious course. And as soon as I struggled, I was tossed away like hot
garbage. They kept telling us, from the second we're drafted, how needed
we are, but I guess that's not so.
I have my own goals in life. My time is precious. I - "
"And why is that? What exactly do you do that's superior to serving your
country?"
"I stopped showing up, because -"
"Why did you, really? Why was so important?"
"Because I signed up for university!", Adir said, heatedly. "Because if
I wouldn't get out of there instead of sitting like some kind of idiot,
I would've rotted there and no one would have twitched.
I'm not needed? That's fine and dandy. We all gave it a shot. No hard
feelings. But if that's the case, I want my life back. I want to wake up
early in the morning, like I always used to. I want to be passionate
about what I do. I want to feel loved, and respected. I'd like to do
something worthwhile with my time."
"So aside from these grand statements - what exactly do you want?"
"I want out."
"Out?"
"Out. It's been half my service. Nothing is coming."
Tamara stood up, took out a small notebook from one of the desks
drawers, strode up to Adir and handed it to him.
"What's this?"
"It's a book," she said, "describing mental illnesses.
Pick one, or get out."
It hurt him to hear those words. He saw them coming, but it hurt all the
same.
"What exactly am I supposed to do now? How long is this supposed to
last?"
"Don't you dare threaten me", said the officer. "I'm not at all
impressed"
"I wasn't threatening!"
"Sure you weren't".
Adir stood dumbstruck.
"Pick one, or get out."
He wanted to scream. He wanted to protest. He wanted to go on yet
another righteous crusade.
Only this time, he drew a deep breath, and a resolution formed in his
heart. A decision was made, and he will stick to it.
He got out.