Finished opener

The_Difference_Between_an_Idiot_and_a_Moron.md

@@ -1,13 +1,14 @@
 The Difference Between an Idiot and a Moron
 
 Adir sat alone in the waiting room. He could feel the receptionist\'s
-eyes on him, and huddled nervously on simple plastic chair.
+eyes on him, and huddled nervously on a plain plastic chair.
 
 He was in a small, light-beige colored room, the color almost identical
-to his uniform, blending him in, swallowing him. Traces of strong noon
+to his uniform, blending him in, swallowing him like an unmerciful
-daylight came through the milky glass panels around the door.
+beast. Soft traces of strong noon daylight came through the milky glass
+panels around the door.
 
-A plain, small plaque read 'Dedicated Personel Officer'.
+Upon it, a small plain plaque read 'Dedicated Personel Officer'.
 
 The room was lit with harsh white halogen bulbs - Adir could scarcely
 raise his head without instinctively reaching for his temples. Some
@@ -47,7 +48,7 @@ Tom. Rachel, when is Tom's appointment due?'
 '10:30', the receptionist shot back without drawing breath.
 
 'Well, I shan't wait any further then. Adir, you're scheduled for...
-11:45, was it?"
+11:30, was it?"
 
 "12:00"
 
@@ -78,8 +79,8 @@ just thinking about.
 
 The Dedicated Personel Officer's room was not large, but it felt
 spacious thanks to the grand floor-to-ceiling window overlooking the
-entryway outside -- Adir could just see the soldiers streaming in and
+entryway outside. Adir could just see the soldiers streaming in and out
-out of the building. The only furnishings were a simple, standard issue
+of the building. The only furnishings were a simple, standard issue
 wooden desk and three more simple plastic chairs against the wall,
 facing ninety degrees from the desk. A few simple photos were on the
 walls, as well as a small picture frame on the desk -- yet he could not
@@ -88,16 +89,16 @@ make out anything in them.
 The officer made her way behind the desk, her back to the window, with
 well adjusted movements.
 
-"You can sit down, Adir. It's the same price", she said softly. He had
+"You can sit down, Adir. It's the same price", she said softly, and Adir
-not realized he was still standing, and so, flustered, he sat down
+-- who had not realized he was still standing, sat down flustered and
 huched on the middle chair. The officer watched him with observant eyes
 but made no remark.
 
-"Adir, I am Tamara -- I've been a psychologist here for just over
+"Adir, I am Tamara. I've been a psychologist here for just over fifteen
-fifteen years now. I am the head of the personnel department, and I do
+years now. I am the head of the personnel department, and I do not
-not usually treat soldiers as they come in, aside from more severe
+usually treat soldiers as they come in, aside from more severe cases.
-cases. However, I understand you've been waiting for some time -- a
+However, I understand you've been waiting for some time -- a month or
-month or so, was it?"
+so, was it?"
 
 "Since December", Adir answered weakly.
 
@@ -134,19 +135,19 @@ are... 20?"
 
 "Born late December, '97"
 
-"Had birthday in boot camp", he chuckled.
+"Had birthday in boot camp", he chuckled nervously.
 
-"Have Both parents?"
+"Both parents are well?"
 
 "Thankfully yes"
 
 "Do you have any siblings?"
 
-"A younger sister, and a younger brother"
+"A younger sister, and a younger brother."
 
-"Fill in their details here, please". She handed him a form and a pen on
+" I'll need you to fill in their details here, please". She handed him a
-her notepad. Adir painstakingly filled them -- it took a surprisingly
+form and a pen on her notepad. He painstakingly scribbled them bit by
-long time.
+bit -- it took a surprisingly long time.
 
 "Any of them in service?" she asked as he was slaving away.
 
@@ -154,20 +155,25 @@ long time.
 
 "Isn't your sister of age?"
 
-"She is. Wasn't cut out for it. She's in National service". He handed
+"She is."
-back the form.
 
-"Doing what?"
+"What happened?"
+
+"Wasn't cut out for it. She's in National service". He handed back the
+form.
+
+"Doing what?", Tamara asked absent minded, brows furrowed as she
+deciphered his handwriting.
 
 "Teaching at-risk youth."
 
-Tamara smiled widely. "That's lovely!"
+Tamara looked up and smiled widely. "That's lovely!"
 
-"I'm proud of her".
+"I'm really proud of her".
 
-"And your brother?"
+"How about your younger brother?"
 
-"He's fine"
+"He's fine. Good student."
 
 "Does he know what he's going to do in the army?"
 
@@ -177,15 +183,15 @@ Tamara smiled widely. "That's lovely!"
 
 "Dad's a physicist. Mom's a lawyer"
 
-"Where does he work?"
+"Where does your father work?"
 
-"Ministry of defence"
+"Ministry of Defence"
 
-"Sounds interesting! What does he do?"
+"Sounds interesting. What does he do?"
 
 "No idea. He can't say."
 
-"Must be odd."
+"I'm quite familiar with it, being here. Must be difficult for you."
 
 "He's a bit of a drama queen. Always complains about his rough day. But
 I can never tell if he's bluffing."
@@ -195,17 +201,19 @@ I can never tell if he's bluffing."
 "They met at the job, so she knows what's going on. It's really
 annoying".
 
-"She's a lawyer?"
+"You mentioned she's a lawyer?"
 
-"Yes."
+"She is."
 
-"Of what field?"
+"What kind of lawyer?"
 
 "Workspace law. I was the most well treated waiter on Earth."
 
-"I see. Everything good at home? Violence between the parents?"
+"I see," said Tamara.
 
-"None."
+"Everything good at home? Violence between the parents?"
+
+"No."
 
 "Financial status?"
 
@@ -213,7 +221,7 @@ annoying".
 
 "Wealthy?"
 
-"No, no. Upper middle class, maybe".
+"Wouldn't say so. Upper middle class, maybe".
 
 "And you? Big spender?"
 
@@ -221,16 +229,28 @@ annoying".
 
 "What for?"
 
-Adir hesitated. "I'll see."
+Adir hesitated. "Whatever comes. I'll see."
 
-"Let's go over your service thus far. What is your role called, again?"
+"So, let's go over your service thus far, shall we?"
+
+Adir vaguely gestured a 'go ahead'.
+
+"What is your role called, again?"
 
 "I am a Computing Systems Infastructure Manager".
 
-"Sound big. What do you do?"
+"Role number?" she asked, scribbling.
+
+"1850".
+
+"Never heard of it before"
+
+"It's not air force. Communication corps"
+
+"That explains it. What do you do?"
 
 "We're in charge of maintaining the military's operational data centers
-and classified computing systems. Spread across all corps."
+and classified computing systems. Spread throughout the corps"
 
 "Must be interesting".
 
@@ -244,14 +264,22 @@ Adir said nothing, and Tamara surveyed him cautiously.
 
 "We heard jets and mortars at night."
 
+"Right, right! It's just by the strip, isn't it?"
+
+"15km."
+
 "Must be hard."
 
 "It was interesting. Didn't struggle especially."
 
-"Afterwards, you were stationed at the Cyber Defence Academy."
+"Following that, you were stationed at the Cyber Defence Academy."
 
-"Defense Forces Academy Of Computer Professions And Cyberspace Defense.
+"Defense Forces Academy Of Computer Professions And Cyberspace Defense",
-It's a mouthful."
+he intoned sarcastically.
+
+"If you say so"
+
+"It's a mouthful"
 
 "What did you study?"
 
@@ -259,25 +287,33 @@ It's a mouthful."
 Operating systems. Some databases. A bit of computer hardware. Some
 programming."
 
-"And how did you do?"
+"Were you a good study?"
 
 "I was the underdog. But I pulled through nicely."
 
 "What's drawn you into computers?"
 
-"Nothing at all". Tamara looked at him questioningly.
+"Nothing at all."
+
+Tamara looked at him questioningly.
 
 "It's a cold, dead field."
 
-"It sounds like you've gone through some hardcore training. Why?"
+"It sounds like you've gone through some hardcore training. If that's
+why you think -- why did you do it?"
 
 "That's what they offered."
 
+"They?"
+
+"The army."
+
 "It's a voluntary course."
 
-"Had no other choice lined up."
+"Had no other choice lined up. It sounded cool at the time, so I went
+for it."
 
-"What about your education, Adir? Finished highschool?"
+"Let's go over your education, Adir. Finished highschool?"
 
 "Yes."
 
@@ -285,17 +321,20 @@ programming."
 
 "It didn't run that year."
 
-"And you didn't go on your own?"
+"Many decide to go on their own."
 
 Adir straightened his slouch and looked at Tamara.
 
-"No," he said.
+"Not me," he said.
 
 Tamara caught his gaze and held it intently. This was the first time he
 had seen her eyes.
 
 "What did you study in highschool?"
 
+It took him a moment to register the question -- her hard gaze
+distracted him greatly.
+
 "Biology and Biotechnology."
 
 "Quite a long way off from the cold, dead field of computers".
@@ -337,4 +376,289 @@ and some even well afterwards."
 
 "Can imagine. Not very useful, though."
 
-"So what's hurting you, Adir? You know where you stand."
+"So what's hurting you, Adir? You know where you stand. You knew this
+was coming, from what I gather. Everything's fine at home. It sounds
+like you lead a good life thus far."
+
+"I did. I'm quite satisfied."
+
+"So why are you here?" she peered into him. This time, he stood his
+ground.
+
+Adir composed himself and stared back.
+
+"I am depressed", he said. It still hurt admitting it, but it *was*
+getting easier.
+
+"I wouldn't say it's up to you to decide; you hadn't visited a mental
+health professional, as we've established. Or have you?"
+
+"Not recently."
+
+"So, you self diagnose. I'll be happy to talk to you, and we'll figure
+out what's wrong and how I can help together. But blatant self-diagnosis
+-- it will get us nowhere. So let's avoid that terminology, for now."
+
+Adir did not break his gaze.
+
+"Call it whatever you will -- that's the best name I have for it at
+present."
+
+"What makes you think you're depressed, Adir?"
+
+"It's the small things. It gets harder to get out of bed every day. My
+head always hurts, and I can never concentrate anymore."
+
+Tamara listened intently and said nothing.
+
+"I just don't care about anything anymore. I don't bother seeing my
+friends, or doing anything for myself, or at all really. I feel hollow,
+and cold. I'm always so, so tired."
+
+Tamara remained silent.
+
+"I figured out something's wrong when I realized that if I sit alone in
+a blank room, and everything's absolutely fine -- I'll just... get sad.
+Just because."
+
+Tamara nodded and thought. Adir said nothing.
+
+"Why do you think you feel like that?"
+
+"I... don't know. I've always been resilient. Nothing really happened
+and I just... broke down."\
+"How have you been coping?"
+
+"I haven't, really. Back during training, I could still function.
+Nowadays, I'm utterly useless."
+
+"Surely you're not utterly useless."
+
+"I haven't been working a good several months now. Nobody bothers."
+
+"What do you mean?"
+
+"They kicked me out. I know my job, and I know it damn well. But they
+thought I wasn't worth it. And I've been idle ever since."
+
+"Adir, nobody thinks you're 'not worth it'. You are here, getting
+treatment, aren't you?"
+
+"It took half my service, but sure. I guess I am".
+
+"Let's not go to such harsh tones! I'm here to help, Adir"
+
+"You see," he said passionately, "I'm sure you are. And my commanders
+have been saying the same thing since boot camp. But at the end of the
+day, those are all just big words that don't amount to anything. I've
+been struggling for... eighteen months now. And I've yet to see anyone
+lift a finger.
+
+I'm not saying this against you -- I know how it sounds, but I'm not,
+really.
+
+But I've lost faith. I'll believe it when I see it."
+
+"I'm sorry you feel that way," she said.
+
+"I am, too", Adir answered, blinking back tears. "I am, too."
+
+"Have you talked to any of your commanders?"
+
+"I did, sure. You know, I got transferred here -- that doesn't really
+happen. They knew I had trouble at Hutspace. But they clung to me like a
+wet towel."
+
+"How so?"
+
+"Training is supposed to be another four months over the Communication
+corp training. I've already done it in Hutspace. I had the same role.
+But they insisted I go through it again.
+
+Fine. I did. It took me two weeks -- and they just said I should wait
+until I get enrolled into shifts. That never happened. They 'didn't like
+my energy'. When I came to ask them what's that all about, I was
+berated."
+
+"What did they tell you?"
+
+"You walk around with your head down. You don't have a passion; being
+here is a privilege, and yet you don't act like you're privileged. How
+can we trust you like that?"
+
+"Must be frustrating, feeling as you describe -- but I'm sure it's out
+of good intentions"
+
+"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."
+
+"So it's said."
+
+They sat silent for a while.
+
+"What did you tell them?"
+
+"Same as I've told you. I'm depressed."
+
+"That was late November"
+
+"And I've been away ever since."
+
+"What have you been doing?"
+
+"Both my commanding officer and his commanding officer were replaced in
+mid-December. The new officer has never so much as seen my face. Most of
+the squad has been promoted and replaced since."
+
+"Haven't you? You should be a corporal by now, but you're not wearing
+your rank."
+
+"I refused my rank."
+
+"I didn't know you can do that."
+
+"The unit commander came to our entire cycle -- eight of us from
+Communications. They made a big scene of it, and asked me to come up. I
+said no. What can they do in front of everyone?"
+
+"Why would you refuse?"
+
+"Why would I accept it? I'm not working. They kept blabbering about how
+rank is 'earned, not just granted'. What did I ever do to earn it,
+besides pouting and being miserable?"
+
+"That doesn't come across as very cooperative".
+
+Adir let that roll around for a bit. "No," he replied. "I suppose it
+doesn't".
+
+Tamara sighed.
+
+"I'll tell you what, Adir. I think you're just a little misplaced. Many
+young men have trouble adapting to their new roles, especially those
+that grasp themselves as resilient -- like you. I think we can have a
+long talk with your new commanding officer, get you reinstated, and keep
+talking from there.
+
+How does that sound?"
+
+"The new commanding officer," Adir said, "Is from Hutspace, and
+witnessed the whole spectacle I threw to get myself out of there. She's
+judged me now, and she doesn't know I'm here. I'd like to keep it that
+way."
+
+"Now, what exactly do you mean, 'she doesn't know I'm here'?"
+
+"I feel there's not much room for interpretation there".
+
+"You show up every day. How can she not know?"
+
+"The thing is, Tamara," he said, "I don't, and haven't in a while."
+
+"You mean you don't enter the office?"
+
+"No, no", he said. "I mean I've been sitting at home."
+
+The officer considered this gravely.
+
+"You mean to say you're absent in service?"
+
+"In December, I was an absent in service. By now, I'm well into defector
+territory."
+
+"I'm sorry, but I just don't believe you."
+
+"I thought you'd say so. But I ask you to take a good, hard look at me.
+Do you think I got a permit for my beard? Or that I haven't been caught
+without my rank yet? You've likely sent a mail with this appointment,
+did you?"
+
+"We did, several times. You didn't respond."
+
+"Does that seem reasonable to you that a Systems Administrator in air
+force headquarters has no access to a computer to respond to his
+emails?"
+
+"Adir, it just can't be. I'm sorry, but I don't accept this"
+
+"And I do? It's degrading. I've never been so humiliated in my life.
+
+But let's go down to the Pit -- to where I'm supposedly stationed. You
+can see my Gatekeeper card get rejected, because it hasn't been in use
+for five months.
+
+Let's go down there, and see if anyone recognizes me at all, commanders
+included -- no one's seen me with the beard. I didn't have it when I
+left! That's how long I've been gone. If so much as a private recognizes
+me, I'll withdraw and never bother you again.
+
+All I ask is we come and take a look."
+
+Tamara drew a tense, long breath.
+
+"So what do you want, Adir?"
+
+"I signed up. I did whatever they asked me to. I pulled through that
+vicious course. And as soon as I struggled, I was tossed away like hot
+garbage. They kept telling us, from the second we're drafted, how needed
+we are, but I guess that's not so.
+
+I have my own goals in life. My time is precious. I - "
+
+"And why is that? What exactly do you do that's superior to serving your
+country?"
+
+"I stopped showing up, because -"
+
+"Why did you, really? Why was so important?"
+
+"Because I signed up for university!", Adir said, heatedly. "Because if
+I wouldn't get out of there instead of sitting like some kind of idiot,
+I would've rotted there and no one would have twitched.
+
+I'm not needed? That's fine and dandy. We all gave it a shot. No hard
+feelings. But if that's the case, I want my life back. I want to wake up
+early in the morning, like I always used to. I want to be passionate
+about what I do. I want to feel loved, and respected. I'd like to do
+something worthwhile with my time."
+
+"So aside from these grand statements - what exactly do you want?"
+
+"I want out."
+
+"Out?"
+
+"Out. It's been half my service. Nothing is coming."
+
+Tamara stood up, took out a small notebook from one of the desks
+drawers, strode up to Adir and handed it to him.
+
+"What's this?"
+
+"It's a book," she said, "describing mental illnesses.
+
+Pick one, or get out."
+
+It hurt him to hear those words. He saw them coming, but it hurt all the
+same.
+
+"What exactly am I supposed to do now? How long is this supposed to
+last?"
+
+"Don't you dare threaten me", said the officer. "I'm not at all
+impressed"
+
+"I wasn't threatening!"
+
+"Sure you weren't".
+
+Adir stood dumbstruck.
+
+"Pick one, or get out."
+
+He wanted to scream. He wanted to protest. He wanted to go on yet
+another righteous crusade.
+
+Only this time, he drew a deep breath, and a resolution formed in his
+heart. A decision was made, and he will stick to it.
+
+He got out.